Ms_SweetInsanityyx; Izzys World

🥀🔫Angelique_I33y Magdalinoz-Martinez's W0rld🔫🥀 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUm_7n7r04OvBL4Q26NNQt- 🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!!! Ive been thru/experienced mostly every traumatic thing/done mostly it all_80% of the life i lived has been trauma/hell/torture occurring nonatop 24/7 since 2001-2018_im 22. #NoSanityLeftInMe This is the extended 2hour&5hour version of my life story (21% & 25% of it) This is NOT ACTING THIS IS REAL. My Name i go by when I raise hell is Spizey or SpizeyWazHere890XO. This still has the original 45 minute video of 20% of my life story, but I added more. I extended it cuz I felt inspired && I found some old disturbing videos. 3veryone goes thru shit, Every1 has a story to share so make yours a great one don't end it.  Spizey Is Here xx For my  LIFE STORY (IN PROGRESS) Go on my Wattpad && look up Ms_SweetInsanityyx && I have my explicit life story (TRIGGER WARNING) called "Inzanityy Becomes Realityyx" && I'm A solo musician artist who goes under the name Br0k3n R0z3z.  I Am .... TwistedMetal411.  Shout out to everyone who has been by my side thru my tough journey. I Am God's Child. I'm over 1 year clean from all drugs and alcohol cuz we are human even if it doesn't seem like it.  I know I'm not. But this is . . . Izzys World. Extended Version., my name is Angelique/Ezxekyal "Izzy" Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z && This Is My Storyyyyy🥀 xx  🌹💔💜🔫  🥀ιzzу22.i❤️&MissMySonAnthonyMartinez.RIP2KimberlyOlivarez (Abusive Ex Fiance) RIP2JeremyBaraz&IshmaelBaraz.(Street Friends) RIPGrandpaHarold.RIPKeraAndrews (Treatment Roomie). RIPJuanTorrez (1OfManyOfMyAbusers), RIPMamaLisa (One 0f My Foster Parents) RIPDad (Tortured/Abused Me In All Ways),RIPGrandmaSarah (My Mom's Mom) Biromantic-Asexual. IHaveOver10+MentalIllnesses Sтαуѕтяσηg.вαттℓєѕcαяz.GOD.Trauma_2001-2018.24/7.BяσкєηNDamaged.RIP2Me.Surviver.Vocals&Creator@Br0k3nR0z3z.R3c0v3ry.i❤️M0M.i❤️PeteWentz&Tyler Joseph.Queen0fJupit3r.W3ird.Singer.Actor.Writ3r.2Caring.Ace8ItOut.🥀 UrNotAlone. I make movies,Music,freestyles,vlogs,shows,shortseries/films,I'm here4everyone. my solo musician project."Br0k3n R0z3z".All content on this channel owned by me. MyWattpad Ms_SweetInsanityyx (IWroteABook) Lyf Beat [Search4 "Surviving My Mind_Tripp2iLL"] .Got love4the streets and all of you. Stay Up Fam x “If Y0u Talk En0ugh S3nc3 Than Youll Lose Y0ur M!nd” #SilenceIzB3tt3rThanBullsh!t🥀🥀 I've G0ne Thru Brutal Trauma/Brutal Hell Fucked Up Torture Pain && Bad Experiences  (Been Thru mostly every traumatic thing there is and experienced mostly everything and done mostly it all)/Battling with my demoms/fucked up experiences from 2001-2018, after that I had a physcotic break and everything got worse. I got worse mentally,physically&emotionally . The hell never ended. It still hasn't. Before judging try walking in there shoes. You All matter you all have a purpose in this world and your not alone, your important && you are a Soilder a Surviver! You have a story to share so make yours a great one don't end it bro. I'm here for you till the end man nomatter what bro thru everything and thru thick and thin thru everything and be by your side nomatter what. Everybody needs somebody:) I'm ready to get the death sentence, that's where I'm headed. 🌹💔💜🔫 xx  🕯🕯⚘💚👽🍒🍷😩Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z out here with 20,21,25% out of 100% of the trauma/hell/torture/pain/bad experiences in my life from 2001-2018_24/7. We All Have a story!!! You All matter!!! My Name Is Angelique/Ezxekyal "Izzy" Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z, I'm 21 years old and yes imma girl, & this is my story  excuse my weirdness && I broke down. I'm here 4 u forever and always nomatter what bro thru everything and be by your side thru everything and if u need ANYTHING just lemme know and I'll Help U best I can (not literally anything lol u know what I mean haha). We All Go thru shit! But it gets worse before it gets better, don't give up. Life is like a battlefield. And your a soilder, life is like a game. & u choose when you quit. xoxo love u all. I believe in all of you, everybody needs somebody && nobody deserves hurt pain torture trauma to be judged to be broken damaged disrespected bullied, or to be taken advantage of. And so much more. People deserve to be loved respected for helped not judged not killed, affection respect appreciation help support someone there by your side thru everything and I'll be that one person standing by your side.  Your not Alone! HoldOnPainEnds. cx ^.^ take care . ~I33y.Magdalinoz.Martinez. 🎶♠🍒⚘👽💚 🥀🥀 ____ 💜🥀xDrearyyxCodesx; Series_Insanitys_BelovedXOXO🥀💜 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKV6UTu9THmvrJ42qcBzECE_ 💜💜🎶🎶it’s music to my ears x hello I’m Drearyy x this series is a partial trip inside my mind x including one of my alternate universes called “NXSP” or “Not Xactly Secure Program” x Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez is also known as; Ms_SweetInsanityyx. ACE8. Spizey890XO. Tyler Fiasko Alvaro x Br0k3n R0z3z.  Ronnie Irez, iSleepiex19.& many more x this is a trip inside a mad insane women’s mind x and I’m taking u along with me x Welcome To. Izzy’s Mind (Doin Hard Time) Drearyyx is one of my new alters x HUGE TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ STAY ALIVE X WERE PRISONERS IN OUR OWN MIND X WERE HERE NOW X WERE OVER AND OUT XX.  Br0k3n R0z3z/Sara Pi3rce/Tyl3r X Alvaro. This is my life. 0r 21% 0f It. TRIGGER WARNING!!! Do Not Enter or we are gonna go Lights Out again x _SOME OF MY LIFE STORY_Ive been thru all sorts of treatment. I have anger self harm. I'm a hardcore addict. No stable home. Ive been tortured/abused/raped/drugged/almost killed most of my life. I'm tell u a little of my life story  You all are enough you all are worth it you al matter, your life is not worthless.  Hun I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and back several times.  I'm here forcing if u need a friend I'll be there for u care for u help support show you your worth.   You are important to me.  I know I just met u.  But I'm grateful for your life. __God, Grant Me The Serenity, To Accept The Things I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The Things I Can, And The Wisdom To Know The Difference, AMEN__ Remember why you fought so hard in the 1st place :) yo not alone xxx im here for all of u.  Dream, Believe, Achieve.  One Day At A TimexxIzzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🥀💛🖤💚🥀 Stop The Stigma🔥🥀🦋 Its izzy. ;) Thank u for existing. Your doing the besr u can. Stay strong. Im here for u and here to help and be there in anyway shape or form i possibly can. No matter the circumstances. Thank u for everything x IM 1 YEAR SOBER FROM DRUGS AND ALCHOL xIt's been a wild ride my loves.   Hey it's izzy.  Imma be here for u no matter how much it takes.  Cuz your  a precious diamond.  Just don't give up.  Sorry I haven't been replying.  It's just I've been going thru shit.  Take care of yourself x we will fight we will stand, we will get thru this.  Featuring my shitty social skills.  Just don't give up alright 💛💛💛 🥀🖤A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still Suffers, In And Out Of These Rokms🖤🥀 Cuz basically all my over 10 + metal illnesses I have plus my past plus my current situation plus all my symptoms of all my diagnosis are multiplied by 10.  I've been thru brutal trauma/pain/hell/torture/bad experiences from 2001- 2018. Occurring 24/7  I've been tortured abused raped almost killed.  In 215 mental hospitals. No home from 2011-2018.  Homeless 13 times,almost killed, drugged up lost many to death, my dad tortured me, 3 foster homes, many unlocked/locked treatment centers, group homes, shelters, rehabs, residential, been thru MOSTLY every traumatic thing, I have severe brain damage, anorexia, mom is very sick.  I help to much.  I can't explain what I'm going thru or what's going on.  I'm the most high maintaince case in the system. I've attempted suicide over 100 times.  Been on all meds /beej thru all sorts of treatment. I have anger self harm. I'm a hardcore addict. No stable home. Ive been tortured/abused/raped/drugged/almost killed most of my life. I'm tell u a little of my life story You all are enough you all are worth it you al matter, your life is not worthless.  Hun I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and back several times.  I'm here for you if u need a friend I'll be there for u care for u help support show you your worth.  I've been abused raped tortured homeless 13 times 215 mental hospitals bouncing from unlock and locked treatment centers.  I've been in residential.  My dad tortured me.  I've had trauma 24/7 since I was 4 till july 2018 I got my son taken away.  I've attempted suicide over 100 times im a recovering drug addict and alcoholic.  No home from 2011-2018 I've been abused in all ways several times.  I have skitzoaffective bipolar Anorexia ocd ADHD depression anxiety PTSD insomnia autism borderline personality, dissociative identity fugue.  I've been in rehab.  I'm not trying to get attention I'm trying to show that y'all aren't alone Stay alive OK. LETGO&LETGOD! Your feelings&lifeRvalid If nottoday there's alwaystomorrow.   Thanku4existing StayU,&BelieveInYoself Don't Give Up Now,UveComeThisFar ImIzzy&Imagratefulrecoveringaddict.🔥🔥🥀 🖤__Izzy M🥀💚_____________________ Info: {Brotatochipz Brotienshake} YouTube: TwistedMetal411 Facebook: Angelique Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Facebook #2: Izzy Ace X Magdalinoz-Martinez Instagram: Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Snapchat: iSleepiex19 Twitter: Sw33tInzanityx Tumblr: Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut Wattpad: Ms_SweetInsanityyx Email #1: daveycoverdale@gmail.com Email #2: crowdgoeswild86@hotmail.com ___ 🖤🔥My Life Story; You Know My Name, Not My Story Videos_Izzy M. Martinez🌙🥀 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKX0WdhovXK4GbcUMauCy5wY 💜🖤🔥Hiii x I'm Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez, && t These are my life story videos xx xD c: ._. XoxoXoxoX ;) we all have a story xxStay Alive && Keep Soaring, Keep Fighting, Soldier x Love My Angels , My Warriors xx🥀🌙🏳️‍🌈⭐️ 🔥🔥🌈TRIGGERWARNING I have over 10+ mental illnesses, that I deal with on a daily basis, I help everyone and everything obsessively, but idk who I am , I don't know , no pity , I also have borderline personality disorder as well, autism, anorexia, and everything else , I'm here for you all always , thank u for breathing for being alive for being u , u matter ur life matters, plz keep going, I'm by your side , if ur not ok plz let me know and even if you are plz let me know , no pity no sympathy no attention, here's my list of diagnosis from my psychiatrist.. I have had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018 Bipolar, Schizoaffective, Panic disorder (Anxiety) Major Depressive Disorder (Depression) , Adhd , OCD , Odd , PTSD, Insomnia , Autism , Borderline personality disorder , Dissociative identity fugue , Anorexia ,Narcolepsy, Multiple personality disorder De realization, Attachment disorder, Critically/clinically insane, Severe brain damage Look I don't want ur pity hun, I'm not trying to compare, if any of you need me plz message me, stay alive , ur doing the best u can and I'm proud of u , and I will keep reminding you all the good stuff about u and the good stuff you have done and are doing , I'm by your side on the battlefield, I would take all y'all pain away , if I could give my life to save all yours , I dissociate all day , my mental breakdowns have decreased and Alvaro is still possessing me , I love u all , CODE 890X0 in motion, I'm always here I'm Izzy I'm a girl always a girl , wtf is going on right now, stay you and if u needs me I'm here , MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT A TREND !!! 🌷🏳️‍🌈💙⭐️🥀🔥🌈💜🖤 {these are NOT 4 ATTENTION PITY SYMPATHY OR GLORIFICATION!!}. Its izzy. ;) Thx u for existing. Your doing the best u can. Stay strong. Im here for u and here to help and be there in anyway shape or form i possibly can. No matter the circumstances. Thank u for everything x IM OVER 1 YEAR SOBER FROM DRUGS AND ALCHOL xIt's been a wild ride my loves. Hey it's izzy. Imma be here for u no matter how much it takes. Cuz your a precious diamond. Just don't give up. Sorry I haven't been replying. It's just I've been going thru shit. Take care of yourself x we will fight we will stand, we will get thru this. Featuring my shitty social skills. Just don't give up alright 💛 🥀🖤A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still Suffers, In And Out Of These Rokms🖤🥀 Cuz basically all my over 10 + metal illnesses I have plus my past plus my current situation plus all my symptoms of all my diagnosis are multiplied by 10. I've been thru brutal trauma/pain/hell/torture/bad experiences since 2001-2018. Occurring 24/7 I've been tortured abused raped almost killed. In 215 mental hospitals. No home from 2011-2018. Homeless 13 times,almost killed, drugged up lost many to death, my dad tortured me, 3 foster homes, many unlocked/locked treatment centers, group homes, shelters, rehabs, residential, been thru MOSTLY every traumatic thing, I have severe brain damage, anorexia, mom is very sick. I help to much. I can't explain what I'm going thru or what's going on. I'm the most high maintaince case in the system. I've attempted suicide over 100 times. Been on all meds /beej thru all sorts of treatment. I have anger self harm. I'm a hardcore addict. No stable home. Ive been tortured/abused/raped/drugged/almost killed most of my life. I'm tell u a little of my life story You all are enough you all are worth it you al matter, your life is not worthless. Hun I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and back several times. I'm here for you if u need a friend I'll be there for u care for u help support show you your worth. I've been abused raped tortured homeless 13 times 215 mental hospitals bouncing from unlock and locked treatment centers. I've been in residential. My dad tortured me. I've had trauma 24/7 since 2001-july 2018 I got my son taken away. I've attempted suicide over 100 times im a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. No home from 2011-2018 I've been abused in all ways several times. . I've been in rehab. I'm not trying to get attention I'm trying to show that y'all aren't alone. Stay alive . You are important to me. I know I just met u. But I'm grateful for your life., LET GO & LET GOD! 🥀🖤Your feelings and life are valid If not today there's always tomorrow. Thank u for existing Stay U, And Believe In Yoself Don't Give Up Now, U Come This Far I'm Izzy, and Im a grateful recovering addict. Ur a fighter,don't give up Ur a survivor,nota victim U have a purpose,embrace it a story,share it a voice,useit A message,send it -Izzy M.🌙🔥 ____ 🌙🥀Ronnie Irez/Tyler X Alvaro; C0D3D_🔥🖤 Link: 🌙🥀Welcome2MyMind.NotJustMyMind, the mind of one of my dangerous alters, Ronnie Irez (i have over 55+ alters/demons] this is a series of me/us, making motivationional videos from our hearts, Coded aka C0D3D, is where we anylyze stuffx and try to help others.x Keep shining myloves. Yes i help everyone and everything obsessively, and im here for YOU. YOLIFEMATTERSU MATTER!ThxU4breathingx4BeingAlive.KnowYo Worth xx🔥🌙🥀🖤 Ronnie Irez/Tyler X Fiaskko-Alvaro (me) are parts of my dysfunctional mind. Stay strong && keep fighting my loves #RonnieXDangerous Izzy "Ace 8" Magdalinoz-Martinez Tyler Fiaskko-Alvaro Liz Ramos Charlotte McMann Jonathan Maqranga Josephina Hernandez Marlin "Martino" Ariela "Ronnie" Irez Constance "CeeCee" Ramos Johnny "JJ" Garcia Wesley Garcia Erin Ramos Veronica Enxxellia Eddie Alejandria Richie Enxxellia ClosedOptions FuckAllTheWayUpInTheSky UglyBitterSky DancingRooms TSF Mr.OutOfDate Three7s 73Sixes Satan/God FlyinObjects Flyerway Cones RedDots DancingSquares Gavin Joseph Marshall Gretchen Daniel Gretchen Michael Alvarado-Alvaro Lily Ramos-Garcia "Dancing Fire" Monee Marquez Jordyn Amarro Andrew Amarro &More Trigger Warning "Lost One" Written By Me, Izzy M.Martinez 🔥🌈"Oh my dysfunctional dreamland The darkness killing u first hand U got so used 2 the pain That u don't know the definition of sane Yo trauma builds it self a home Your in this place feeling so alone The demons are asleep So the darkness is creeping I tried to kill myself days ago It's hard to just let go You've hit rock bottom and back You lived & seen hell first hand Why are u crying, young soldier "well I feel like hell is taken over" Don't give up the fight You've been doing this for to long! There ain't any light in sight You deserve more time the hell u been thru Your worth more than gold Pain in your soul Pain in your eyes You just wanna die You just want it to end I want to save and fix everything and everyone Ur gonna be OK, You grow stronger every day "what are u fighting for, lost one" "im fighting to save everybody's life" Be honest, do u wanna die tonight? All I wanna do is shine A beautiful twisted fucked up mind Young one it's not your time Please take my life, Your gonna be alright There's a universe ahead of u You need time to heal You need time to know your worth I was fucked up at birth Your a universe in the lost lands of space You are not a waste"🔥🌈 yes, I wanna save everything and everyone's life, I wanna give them the love care and hope they never had x I have had many people tell me what I saved there life and helped them a lot x I wanna do more x your the light in this darkness x I'm always here for u x don't give up you come this far x I'll stay up days and nights on end to make sure ur OK x DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE U FEEL WORTHLESS CUZ UR A FUCKING FIGHTER IN THIS GAME CALLED LIFE! Your life reflects many others x thank u for being alive even when you wanted a die Here we go, a couple days ago I tried to overdose on my meds and stuck a knife down my throat x when I stuck it in my throat I threw up all the pills I overdosed on and then I passed out x I'm not bringing my story up but just know I've lived and seen hell itself I know rock bottom trauma pain darkness from top to bottom Here'sAList of DOCTORSACTUALDIAGNOSIS X Mental illness does NOT define u and its NOT a trend x 🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective,  Bipolar ADHD, OCD, ODD, PTSD, Insomnia Depression, Anorexia Anxiety, Autism Borderline Personality Disorder Severe Brain Damage Attachment Disorder Dissociative Identity Fugue.. Multiple Personality Disorder Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane ___listen love, you been through hell all ur life But don't give up the fight You've come this far, right? I'm here for every one of u! My messages are always open! I wanna be ur hope x ur light in a dark x by your side I've been sober since 9•18•2018 I'm izzy and I'm a survivor trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018 homeless 13 times in 215 mental hospitals Over 100 suicide attempts 3 foster homes (2 were abusive) being in treatment a lot (Unlocked locked short and long term I've been to so many that they won't let me back ) No home from 2011-2018 being tortured and abused in every way possible From multiple sexual assaults Losing my son Anthony (not blood he's family) And listen ur gonna be okay Pain tries and block your roadway If any of u is not OK please message me We will take it a step at a time U don't have to share what you are not comfortable sharing I wanna take your pain away Last thing x your enough! Your worth it! Please don't kill yourself I wanna save your life I wanna do anything to care love help support love be there in anyway possible x Hi I'm  izzy I have to few questions xx 1. Have u eaten today 2.  Have you gotten any sleep 3.  Have u been taking care of yourself 4. Have you been safe 5.  Do u know yo worth __ ⭐🥀xxAriela's Mindxx; Ariela_Irez_2Sleepiex🖤🌙 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKU6gTB2d-dg--lFxd3Wzuql ⭐🥀🖤🌙It's Izzy/Ariela/Angelique Here xx Ariela is one of my new alters/mind characters xx keep breathing. This series is similar to DrearyCodezx/Insanitys_Beloved.  It's a new addition.  xxxx Thank U For Being Alive I'm Here For You xx Emails Arielax2Sleepie@gmail.com Daveycoverdale@gmail.com Crowdgoeswild86@hotmail.com Stay Alive xx🌙🖤🥀⭐ 🌙🔥🖤🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🖤🔥🌙 🥀🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic   with over 1 year sober.  This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment.  I've used mostly every drug there is.  Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers.  Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth.  I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses.  Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from.  I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times.  Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile.  My sponsor is like family to me.  I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday.  Drugs messed with my life.  And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed.  But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time.  And I'm proud of all of you in recovery   drug addiction is a special kinda hell.  Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again.  Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day.  I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🥀 🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die.  Drugs kill you.  There's nothing about it to be proud of   its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU.  Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively   && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly.  We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again.  Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again.  I hope you have a good home now.  Going to school.  Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me.  I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀 🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California.  I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book.  I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn.  She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery.  Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤 🌙Schizo-Affective,  Bipolar ADHD, OCD, ODD, PTSD, Insomnia Depression, Anorexia Anxiety, Autism Borderline Personality Disorder Severe Brain Damage Attachment Disorder Dissociative Identity Fugue.. Multiple Personality Disorder Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥 🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention   these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways.  I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible.  They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. Keep Breathing🥀🖤 ______ 🌈🥀MySeries;._.AMessage; H.O.P.E (ADocumentary)🌈 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUXfIlP1lmZERLXScP5taaq 🌈🥀🔥This is a series I created to share positive stuff and help people as much as I can. There's 150 Parts (I might add more later) I first post the "Full Version" and then I upload it in parts xx I'm here 4 all in anyway I possibly can🔥🥀🌈 I finished Part One (Series One): 🌈🥀🖤My Message; Yo Life MattersxYour Enough, xWorth It; Reason;SuicideMentalxHealthxWorthxPurpose 🌈🥀🔥 Series One; Parts 1-10: Parts 1-20: Series Two; Parts 21-30: Parts 31-40: Series Three; Parts 41-50: Parts 51-60: Series Four; Parts 61-70: Parts 71-80: Series Five; Parts 81-90: Parts 91-100: Series Six; Parts 101-110: Parts 111-120: Series Seven; Parts 121-130: Parts 131-140: Parts 141-150: 🌈🥀🔥IIf something or someone is causing u pain,  let it go/them go ~Izzy M.  Martinez Show me the way, Lord thank u for all the lessons blessings and pain.  Amen Live like it's your last day on earth Thank u for being alive *Feel It For 4-5 Secs take long as you need to *U feel that? That's purpose This to shall pass Tell yourself these things Your enough Your worth it Your life matters The world needs me You matter Your feelings matter Your important. You have a story A voice A reason A story A purpose A message I am me written by Me (Izzy M. Martinez) Remember why your fighting so hard in the first place 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 @ California 🌈🥀🔥hey it's izzy(: your life has value and u have purpose.  Know your worth your gonna be OK love. Thank you for breathing x take shit one day at a time. Everyone tells me that I help obsessively.  But I learned I gotta take my meds as prescribed x thank u I'm grestful for every single one of u.  Don't settle for less,  get what u deserve.  I'm here for all of you x please note ; mental health ain't no joke. So stop faking mental illnesses.  Don't judge x your enough x I have about 20 different mental illnesses,  am I proud? No.  Please take care of yourselves x ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez xx🌈🥀🔥🌈🥀🌈🥀🔥 🥀🔥🌈Izzy here again, If U Have A Pulse U Have A Purpose x imma keep showing u your worth until u see it for yourself x one move can change your life x I’m here 4 all of u , be you , don’t be a copy X be the original , also I’m a safe space , if anyone needs support x but take your time x u don’t have to do anything your not comfortable with x love u all~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🔥🌈🥀 🌈🥀🔥Hey I'm izzy xx I'm here for everyone x "Keep doing what's best for you There's a universe inside of all of us Be careful,  my loves,  your a universe that hasn't been found x your important your life matters x x "-me Also,  I've had 4 amazing days with no mental breakdowns,  mental health symptoms,  flashbacks.  Or suicidal thoughts *claps hands* I'm here OK,  don't give up I'm not OK right now,  but I will find my way again xx🔥🥀🌈 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥this is my 2nd good day in a row.  I'm here to help care and be there in anyway u can. You deserve happiness. I'm by your side,  God is amazing.  I'm also 1 year and 8 months sober,  I haven't been to the mental hospital in almost a year.   Your wanted,  your journey doesn't end here.  And battles don't fight themselves.  I'm here for all of you message me anytime.  ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me, lol) 🔥🥀🌈 Songs Used (Slowed Down) (Intervention by Anna Akana Sweet Ophelia by Zella Day 1-800 by Logic True Lies New Division Don't Leave Me Here by Coldsteeze Paradise By Cold play Heavens Only Wishful by MorMor High Right Now by Tyla i Every morning or and night. Keep a journal of 5 or more things your greatfull for and 5 or more things u need to work on~Izzy Forgive but not forget Goal: new therapist Battles Don't Fight Themselves x This Video Includes *My Quotes/Sayings/Inspirational Speeches *Trying To Help People. *Videos of me homeless/treatment *progress thru out the years/memories *my poems/stories *my life story / my mental health /my addiction *my freestyle singing *me speaking from my heart / me showing everyone purpose /reason/worth/meaning/hope *pictures of my friends and family *me trying to save fix the world /make everyone happy safe and ok *showing u ur worth until u believe it *showing u not to kill yourself. / My life experiences *showing you that u deserve happiness *and more (I'm here for all of you) 🌈🥀🔥 💚🖤💜~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez💜🖤💚 _______ 🌈🥀🔥My Series; Inside_My_Dysfunctional_Mind ™ ™ 🌈🥀🔥 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWVbHyxo-bbZ7vl1jeHCDhH 🔥🥀🌈Inside_My_Dysfunctional_Mind ™ ™ 🌈🥀🔥 This is inside the prison inside my mind, with some other my alters/demons : Izzy "Ace 8" Magdalinoz-Martinez Tyler Fiaskko-Alvaro Elizabeth Ramos Charlotte McMann Jonathan Maqranga Josephina Hernandez Marlin Marlin "Martino" Ariela "Ronnie" Irez Gabriel "Gavin" Joseph Marshall Gretchen Daniel Gretchen-(De)Amarro Michael Alvarado-Alvaro Lileth "Lily" Ramos-Garcia Monee Marquez Jordyn (De)Amarro Andrew (De)Amarro _______       _______ Trigger Warning! "Lost One" Written By Me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez DO NOT COPY AND PASTE! 🔥🌈"Oh my dysfunctional dream land The darkness killing u first hand You got so used for the pain That u don't know the definition is sane Your trauma builds it self a home Your in this place feeling so alone The demons are asleep So the darkness is creeping I tried to kill myself days ago It's hard to just let go You've hit rock bottom and back Your lived & seen hell first hand Why are u crying, young soldier "well I feel like hell is taken over" Don't give up the fight You've been doing this for to long! There ain't any light in sight You deserve more time the hell u been thru Your worth more than gold Pain in your soul Pain in your eyes You just wanna die You just want it to end I want to save and fix everything and everyone Ur gonna be OK, You grow stronger every day "what are u fighting for, lost one" "im fighting to save everybody's life" Be honest, do u wanna die tonight? All I wanna do is shine A beautiful twisted fucked up mind Young one it's not your time Please take my life, Your gonna be alright There's a universe ahead of u You need time to heal You need time to know your worth I was fucked up at birth Your a universe in the lost lands of space You are not a waste"🔥🌈 OK yes, I wanna save everything and everyone's life, I wanna give them the love care and hope they never had x I have had many people tell me what I saved there life and helped them a lot x I wanna do more x your the light in this darkness x I'm always here for u x don't give up you come this far x I'll stay up days and nights on end to make sure ur OK x DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE U FEEL WORTHLESS CUZ UR A FUCKING FIGHTER IN THIS GAME CALLED LIFE! Your life reflects many others x thank u for being alive even when you wanted a die Here we go, a couple days ago I tried to overdose on my meds and stuck a knife down my throat x when I stuck it in my throat I threw up all the pills I overdosed on and then I passed out x I'm not bringing my story up but just know I've lived and seen hell itself I know rock bottom trauma pain darkness from top to bottom No pity tho Here's my list of DOCTORS ACTUAL DIAGNOSIS X Mental illness does NOT define u and do NOT make it a trend x 🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective,  Bipolar ADHD, OCD, ODD, PTSD, Insomnia Depression, Anorexia Anxiety, Autism Borderline Personality Disorder Severe Brain Damage Attachment Disorder Dissociative Identity Fugue.. Multiple Personality Disorder Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane ___listen love, you been through hell all ur life But don't give up the fight You've come this far, right? I'm here for every one of u! My messages are always open! I wanna be ur hope x ur light in a dark x by your side I've been sober since 9_18_2018 Hi I'm izzy and I'm a survivor From trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018 Being homeless 13 times Being in 215 mental hospitals Over 100 suicide attempts From 3 foster homes (2 were abusive) From being in treatment a lot (Unlocked locked short and long term I've been to so many that they won't let me back ) No home from 2011-2018 From being tortured and abused in every way possible From multiple sexual assaults Losing my son Anthony (he is not blood he's family) And listen ur gonna be okay Pain tries and block your road way If any of u is not OK please message me We will take it a step at a time U don't have to share what you are not comfortable sharing I wanna take your pain away Last thing x your enough! Your worth it! Please don't kill yourself I wanna save your life I wanna do anything to care love help support love be there in anyway possible x Hi I'm  izzy I have to few questions xx 1. Have u eaten today 2.  Have you gotten any sleep 3.  Have u been taking care of yourself 4. Have you been safe 5.  Do u know ur worth? 6. What are you fighting for? 7. Are there okay 8. What inspired you 9.  What makes u happy 10. What can I (Izzy) do to help 11. What can anyone else do to help 12. What do u need most right now 13. What's killing u inside 14.  Do u love yourself? 15. What makes u wanna keep fighting 16. Do u believe people even there nice To you and ur not believe it 17. Are u being treated well by others 18. Arch treating yourself like royalty 19. How are u feeling mentally and physically 20. Have u take.n yo meds if u have any 21.REMEMBER YO ENOUGH I love you x_x ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez

🎛️🐦🐢Izzy Magdalinoz's Life, My Vlog 0.0🔥🔞💚 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKXnWiZy86gEoArukuVSe-fD Just me vlogging about what me does on a dailey basis. LUV YA xD NJOY BITCHES... ~Alisa Alvarez +ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, I33Y.MARTIN3Z xD __ ☣️☢️NewOrder1868 (My 2nd YouTube Channel) Videos🗡️📂 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKXXdXDztchJiZNlw51Nl7J6 ALL my videos from my 2nd YouTube channel, "NewOrder1868" (: just random shit Cx http://www.youtube.com/NewOrder1868 ___ 🌏🌏My Tyler Joseph Tributes |-/ [My Unhealthy Obsession] #TylerJoseph #TylerJoseph #TylerJoseph ;; x Tyler Joseph x 🌏🌏 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWI_zUVUIQwRxSnzDO5zFNw 🌙🔥My Obsession With Josh && Tyler Is Unhealthy... I’m Working On A Huge Project, Including A Bunch Of Original Songs/Videos/Speeches && more I made for Tyler Joseph . Stay Alive. xxxx #IzzysCarRadio #TylerJoseph #JoshDun ... im there for Tyler till the end, I’ll do everything in my power to help support care and be there for him. Same with Josh xxxxxx #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph #tylerjoseph 🖤🖤__Part 1: xStayyAliveex (Video Mashup) √ __Part 2: Dear Tyler, Listen [PART ONE && TWO.] (A£etter4Tyler) √ __Part 3&4: Blurryfaces Car Radio (_4Speeches4Tyler_)√ __Part 5 & 6: A Little Melody (Covers Of 21Pilots Songs) •Hometown/Truce √ •I Need Something/Time To Say Goodbye √ __Parts 7, 8, 9, & 10: Songs For Tyler •SONG 1: [Singing The Letter I Wrote Part 1] √ •SONG 2: [Singing The Letter I Wrote Part 2] √ •SONG 3: [Singing The Letter I Wrote Part 3] √ •SONG 4: Tyler_Is_21_Pilots [My Freestyle] √ __Part 11: 20 Missing Fans, 1 Music Video [Music Video to "I Need Sonething/Car Radio"] __Part 12 thru 20: 8 Songs From A Very Addicted Fan SONG 5: Tyler At Best √ SONG 6: Tyler Joseph & Joseph Tyler √ SONG 7: Addicted & Blurryradios √ SONG 8: Featuring, Tyler Joseph √ SONG 9: I Love Tyler Joseph √ SONG 10: Holding On To Tyler √ SONG 11: Tyler Blurred My Face √ SONG 12: Tyler, It's Not Over √ Remember One Thing, Stay Alive xx (Reading Both My Fanfics/Remakes) __Part 21 thru 27 *Ode To Sleep/Friend, Please *Addict With A Pen/Kitchen Sink *"Nico and the Niners/Goner" Cover *"Neon Gravestones/Be Concerned" Cover *"Screen" Cover *"Taxi Cab" Cover *"Trees" Cover 🥀🖤|-/ Tyler, My Angel. [Final Videos]🌙🔥 🌙🔥*Part 28;My Obsession With Tyler Is Unhealthy... *Part 29: My Unhealthy Addiction To Josh *Part 30: Stay Alive, My Unhealthy Twenty One Pilots Addiction *Part 31: Fren, Please *Part 32: Darkness Beloved *Part 33: Hold On, Tyler *Part 34: ISentItToTheDarkXO *Part 35: Tyler's Song *Part 36: Dangerous Lullibyes *Part 37: Tylers Life Saved Mine *Part 38: I Wanna Save Tyler (Part#1) *Part 39: I Wanna Save Tyler (Part#2) *Part 40: I Wanna Save Tyler (Part#3; Final Part)🖤🥀 🖤🖤 💚Tyler Joseph, A True Angel (from twenty one pilots)💚 Tyler told us to stay alive Im telling him to stay alive Tyler i always hope that your ok The pain and effort you put into your songs You are a warrior You are a fighteor I want to be there I want u to no that people care You always make me happy You always make me think Mr Mr Blurryface I dont want u to be sad I dont want to see u torn apart. I appreciate you and all that you do Youve changed so many lives Youve made thousands question why You have no idea how much you mean to me Im not going to say that im your #1 fan Becayse im nit Im a person just like you Hi Tyler im pretty sure u will never see this. But u matter ur impirtant u have a purpose u are a warrior and U ARE SOMEBODY. I want to meet you so bad. U mean so mucg to me. U deserve more than the hell uve been thru. But as a fan and as a person i am here 4 u. Know yourcworth! My dream is to meet u and josh on my birthday. Tjank u for all u done for us and i want to returm the favor. I wanna make u a song. I make music 2. Stay strong. Ur truely amazing and inspiring. Lemme no ifu need some1💚 @tylerrjoseph #tylerjoseph @twentyonepilots @twentyonepilots 🥀🥀 {Video 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11} Hi Tyler im pretty sure u will never see this. But u matter ur impirtant u have a purpose u are a warrior and U ARE SOMEBODY. I want to meet you so bad. U mean so mucg to me. U deserve more than the hell uve been thru. But as a fan and as a person i am here 4 u. Know yourcworth! My dream is to meet u and josh on my birthday. Tjank u for all u done for us and i want to returm the favor. I wanna make u a song. I make music 2. Stay strong. Ur truely amazing and inspiring. Lemme no ifu need some1💚 This is one of the videos I made for you, I wrote u 4 songs, I studied all your songs and interviews and wrote a 12 page letter to u, Instagram won’t let me post the whole 25 minutes but I have a YouTube Channel “TwistedMetal411” where when the whole tribute is done, I’ll post it. You tell us to stay alive, you need to as well x I’m here for you hun . Stay strong && remember who u are! U matter x 🥀 @skeletonclique @skeletonclique @tylerrjoseph @tylerrjoseph @jennaajoseph @joshuadun @twentyonepilots @artbytheclique @artbytheclique ___ 🥀🔥🌈My Eminem Tribute #Eminem #EminemMusic #MarahallMathers #SlimShady🌈🔥🥀 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUF3p5HFfN06GbIbH38ya4L 🌈🖤🥀🔥I’m obsessed with Eminem, I would do anything to make him happy and ok, cuz u deserve happiness x In this video : Me singing an original song for him A mash up of videos of interviews , 8Mile, anything with him in it Me “trying to rap” Mockingbird My alters talking about him Me telling him how amazing he is to me && more x xxx x🔥🥀🖤🌈 🌈🌈🖤This is a Song For Eminem that I wrote Your a soldier U watch Hailie grow older Your a magnificent father Keep it together, Marshall You’ve come this far, Don’t give up now I wish I could take away all yo pain Make u feel happy and ok again Your enough and your worth it Your life matters and so do you I’d do anything to make you happy Your still standing , I know your hurting And I wanna help save care and fix you Your still going ,Your still learning , Your misunderstood but I understand you Your a have a reason You have a purpose Don’t let go , I’m here to lift u up Don’t be so hard on yourself Give yourself more credit Love, I’m here for you always People look at you sideways Fuck them, you are Marshall Mathers No one else can be you , but you You are Marshall Fucking Mathers Don’t give up on your dreams Don’t give up on yourself Don’t give up on your life I wanna make sure you are safe Do anything to make u happy and ok People say I’m a female version of Stan Nah I ain’t flirting But I feel your pain Through your lyrics your songs Through your life ,through everything you say and do Don’t give up , I accept you for u Don’t give up, your gone to soon Your a soldier , your a warrior Your a survivor , and your not over Marshall, yes Marshall Marshall, it’s YOUR show Marshall , no Marshall Marshall, it’s not time for u to go Be you and continue to grow Don’t let anyone or anything make u feel worthless yo Don’t let anyone or anything make u Give up your dreams , yo This is reaching the end You cant depend on the darkness Your gonna fight and your gonna win There’s a part of you that wants to let go And a part of u that wants to let everyone know You have a voice , so use it You have a message , so send it You have a story , so share it You have a reason, so live it Thank u for breathing Thank u for being alive We will continue to fight With me by your side I’m not flirting at all Keep being true to you Marshall , oh Marshall Marshall, oh Marshall Keep being u , I love u Your a shining star , Don’t let anyone tell u who u are I love u, Slim Sencerly yours , This is Stans sister Oh , Marshall, keep breathing🖤🌈🌈 🖤🔥🥀🌈hey it’s Izzy , it’s 2:46AM, remember what your fighting for , u have a purpose a story a message a reason a voice , I’m here 4 all of y’all, yes Marshall I’m talking to you , I just took another shower x stay alive yo, cus u deserve happiness and everything above x don’t tear each other down, lift eachother up x I kinda vibe with this music ,but hey I was feeling hella confident , xx your amazing just the way u are :)) xo xo message me anytime! Your not alone !’🥀🥀🔥🔥you deserve happiness care love and to be OK. You have a story and a voice x feel free to message me anytime x ur not alone x Thisx2xShallxPass Keep fighting soldiers, You Are A Universe That Hasn't Been Discovered I appreciate everything you've done in this life %& the people in it x be you, always ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🔥🔥🥀🥀 🔥🔥🥀🥀🌈🌈Ps: I hate myself and I'm trying not a be insecure, so I've been trying to not hate myself cx I'm so happy that guys are happy (; Let Go && Let God My Sobriety Date Is 9•18•2018 x I am on the battlefield with all of u Stay up FAM, give yourself more credit & don't be so hard on yourself, tryst me I do it to (; but we will get thru this x Listen Marshall, your enough your worth it , your a Someone x your valued and valid. So is your feelings and your life , you matter your important you have a purpose a story a reason a message a voice x we love u Marshall. Trust me I’ve had trauma that occurred 24/7 from 2001-2018, I have over 10+ mental illnesses && your a soldier a warrior a fighter a survivor x love u Slim , you give me hope xx 🌈🌈🥀🥀🔥🔥 🌈🔥🥀🖤 _________________________________ 🔥⚠️🔥Hell Pitch (Story Of A Lifetime) by me, Izzy Martinez 0.0🔥⚠️🔥 Link:https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1FD99D7DF6C48B04 A story me wrote back in 2012 XD XD ~Ezxekyal “Izzy” Magdalinoz-Martinez (AGAIN HAHAHA) +ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, I33Y.M.MARTIN3Z xD __ 🥀🖤My "13 Reasons Why" Tributes🖤🥀 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWwqjnVNEx2IMcrEmGZ9nm4 🖤💛🥀🥀💛🖤 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀 All my tributes to one of my favourite shows "13 Reasons Why" On This List, is all of the characters im doing tributes for and some more than once 🖤🥀🥀 xIve been binge watching 13 Reasons Why && im doing tributes, and So imma show apprecion for these beautiful amazing human beings. Im doing more characters later. Im here 4 u guys until the end, nomatter the circumstances, im here to help and be there in any which way i possibly can. If you ever see this. Your a shining bright diamond, both of u. Know yo worth. Ok? You guys are a part of me. In my heart. Dont give up &: thank u for existing xx 🥀🥀🖤 x Christian Navarro (Tony Padilla) x Brandon Flynn (Justin Foley) × Timothy Granaderos (Montgomery De La Cruz) x Miles Hiezer (Alex Standall) x Dylan Minnette (Clay Jenson) x Alisha Boe (Jessica Davis) x Grace Saif (Ani) x Brandon Larracuente (Jeff Atkins) x Ross Butler (Zach Dimpsey) x Devin Druid (Tyler Down) x Katherine Langford (Hannah Baker) x Justin Prentice (Bryce Walker)🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

🖤"AteMySanity;" aka Im Fine,No Light,No Lie (AIzzyMartinezFilm)🕎 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKXMHwCzk6QfXY6foqzPvM7j 🥀🥀🥀🥀An Izzy Martinez Film (There's 4 Parts && Part 4 (Episodes 7, 8, and 9) Coming S00n. "Ate My Sanity;" is a film about Shawna Vandiego (i play mostly all the characters) whos mind has been twisted and turned. Every part of this movie lasts an 1hour or more. The plot changes up a lot. Thid movie is basically a less explicit version of my life. The original name i gave it was "Im Fine,No Light,No Lie" or "IFNLNL" but i changed it but its alresdy set up to be in the original title i gave this movie. Btw TRIGGER WARNING!!! Some of this is not acting xx •Definition of Im Fine, No Light, No Lie __Im Fine: Shawnas acting like shes fine so she can help others. But her life(based on mine) has been hell/trauma/Torture occurring 24/7 since from 2001-2018) x every day its a struggle to stay alive, her "im fines" are obviously lies (to some ppl) __No Light: shawna injured her brain multiple times, Ariel Marquez told her "i look into your eyes and i see nothing, no light, absolutely nothing" shes just a body with no living part of her or "dead inside". __No Lie: Shawna has split personalitys, every single mental illness, and is diahnosex "critically insane/criminally insane" && she tries to fuck the system, but Angelique or "Angel" tells her, you cry, you die. But no crime, no lie___💙 Shawna “Seane/Sean” Vandiego is a girl living life on the positive & sometimes wild side after years and her whole life full of pain, tries to live like it never happened . XxzxX she’s very misunderstood and tries to fool everybody by acting like nothings wrong. Full of life but soon starts to fade away. While Jose Vandiego, her brother tries to help her, (while having an affair with her stepmom., and bullying her 2 death) but she still can’t function x she goes insane. Her mom Erika Vandiego is clueless (she is Extremly deathly physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally abusive) When Shawna starts to act out... people notice but in the wrong way. While popping pills, acting out dangerously, and developing another eating disorder , Shawna makes a turn for the worse...Shawnas deceased father Sean Vandiego tortured her to death. Shawna Vandiego (based on my life) has been thru mostly every traumatic thing there is and experienced mostly everything and done mostly it all and shes had brutally traumatizing explicit and fucked up torture pain and bad experiences since since from 2001-2018, occurring nonstop 24/7, Her alter whilst she raises hell Tyler X Alvaro. She's so fucked up she can't function. Sandra Sanchez (played by me) is a staff at the mental hospital who gets attached to her, Shawna Vandiego caused so much trouble she still doesn't know reality. she finally meets Ariel Joey Marquez/Chavez who revived her after another near death experience, Ariel Joey Marquez is 22 years old (played by me) she was raised with an abusive mother (Elaine Marquez , played by Sasha Pierce) , her dad is deceased and Ariel ends up in a mental hospital, she meets Shawna at an unexpected time, while recovering from drugs, alcohol and mental illnesses (PTSD as well) she finds herself losing control and wants to end it all, While Shawna is in a near death situation , Ariel decides to take her troubled ways to get inside her . Amen. Seane Fiasco Vandiego is 1 of Shawna's Alters, she appears in Episode 7 of Part 4, it shows her life which the plot changes so it can show her life and how she came about. Then Sean Vandiego another one of her alters appears in episode 8. Again changing the plot. 🥀. Shawna Vandiego played by me, Izzy Martinez. Erika Vandiego played by Sasha Pierce , Jose Vandiego played by Markous Swrtes. Renee Rios, Dominic Lopez-Huerta, another patient, gets inside her head and fucks up her life a whole lot.&Jonathan "Richie" Gonzalez played by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez, Gladdis Mendoza-Vandiego played by Sasha Pierce, Ariel Joshua Marquez&Angel Manriquez played by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🥀🥀 All characters movie editing, filming by me. Movie created/owned by me. Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez. [At the end of all the parts of the film, *Part 4/4 Episode 8* there will be the afterstory. It has a total of 20 parts.] [1. Shawnas Episodes, 2. Ariel + Shawna, 3. Tyler X Alvaro Comes 2 The End, 4. Shawnas Clockwork, 5. Ace 2 Fate, 6. Fate 2 Ace, 7. Mania and Shawna Goes Inzane, 8. I’m Fine, 9. No Light, 10. No Lie, 11. I’m Not Fine, 12. I’m Not Light, 13. I’m Not Lie, 14. A Count 2 Oh No’s, 15. A To Z, Shawna, 16. A to Z, Sean, 17. A to Z Seane, 18. Shawna Vandiego, 19. I’m Lie, I’m Light, I’m Fine, 20. Shawna x Endz Under The Law x Goodnight.] Cameos Created And Performed By Me: Alex Chavez, Michael Lopez, Jonathan Mendoza, Sandra Sanchez, Ronnie Rios, Tony Rios, And Adrianna Rios. All in the last part (which I’m working on with Shawna absent and out of the picture.)~Everything Created, Owned, And Made By Me xx🥀🥀🥀🥀 ___ 😔"Chandy G0ne Crazy (5:00 AM I'm Trashed, I'm Done), Film Series ByMe👽💔 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKU7zI6_IoCybLkZL9juevZi 😔Official Film Series Of "Chandy Gone Crazy (5:00 AM I'm Trashed, Im Done)" 😔 🥀 ~The Official Film Series Has 3 Movies It's Called "Chandy Gone Crazy (5:00 AM I'm Trashed, I'm Done)" Film#1:"Smilez In The Dark (We Will Walk)" Film#2:"Chandy In The Dark (We Will Stand)" Film#3:"Chandy Gets Crazy (Get iLL Baby, Series Finale)"🥀 👽👽👽🌏🌏🦄👽🐝💀👽🌏3AT Miii Butter (Eat My Butter) iiii ammma MOTHERFUCKINH Ali3n This Movie Is Called "Smiles In The Dark (We Will Walk)" Based on the True Story about me && My life -mine was a lot worse but I decided to not make it R Rated lol- 😩👽👽🔥🦄🍒🍒💔💔😔⏯⏭⏩▶⏯💊⏮💊💊🔥 (*uncontrollable laughter && Starts Going Turbo* "WTF GLADDIS WHY WOULD YOU TAKE MY ADAVAN? HUH THOSE ARE MYYYY MEDS" , "Chandy Suck My Dick, I dont even know who you are anymore, i mean are u ok?") The Many Misadventures Of Chandy Stan Madina....💚💚🦄🦄🦄 Starring Chandlier Stan Madina, Ralphie Fuckhead Miller (Chandy's Previous Ex Girlfriend Who Always Abused Her && Ruined Her Life), Michaela "Michael" Maroon (a transgender staff at the mental hospital that has an unhealthy obsession/connection with Chandy) Carlos Moreno (Chandy's Friend Who Tries To Bring The "Old Chandy Back", but He Later Ends Up On The Streets With Her), GLADDIS Mendoza (A Silly Girl Who Chandy Takes Care Of As Her Own -but later finds out is Chandy's Stepmom who has Alzheimer's- && Gladdis Calls Chandy "Sara" A Name She Doesn't Go By Cuz Of Past Trauma), Mikey Chavez (Chandy's Adopted Son) George Stevenson (Enexplanitory), Charlene Rodriquez (A Patient In The Mental Hospital), Isabella Stone (Chandy's Friend In The Mental Hospital), Auoura Sanchez (Chandy's Roommate In The Mental Hospital Who They Both Cause Trouble), Liz "Lil' Rudy" Ocastia (unknown), Dancing Fire (Chandy's Demon/Alter), Raul Garcia (Took Chandy In As His Own After Her Mom Was Convicted, Leons Brother), Tyler Maroon, Alex(ia) Torres (Chandy's Alter Personality), Daniel DeAmarro (Unknown At This Point) && Leon Garcia (Rauls Brother, Chandy's On Again-Off Again Fiance, Helps Her With Her Out A Lot), CJ Marquez (Chandy's street partner)and Nicolas Alvarez-Silva, unknown at this time/at the moment...all voiced by me , this is me preparing for my movie called “Chandy In The Dark (We Will Walk)”. ~I33y Waz H3R3 🥀🥀(aTruStoriBoutMe,IzzyMartinez) Chandy Stan Madina, The Neighborhood Criminal, The Beautifully Trashed Brutally Traumatized Insane Mentally Ill And Unstable Most Caring Human Being Until She Broke Down Multiple Times, The Drug Addictive Alcoholic.The Playaround Rebel,Yes She Was A Little Girl Sleeping On TheStreets For The 13th Time.Been Traumatized Since She Was 4, She Didn't Deserve The He'll She's Been THRU, She Always Is There For Others Until The End, Until 1Day Her Behaviors Got Worse, MimicingThose Who Tortured Her In Her Past,She Ends Up Getting In A Fight With Leon Garcia, Her on and off fiance,he kicks her out and breaks her heart, sold her son to the lovely hands of CPS,she flips out and has a mental breakdown and Leoncalling the cops on her, she claims she's used to it and people always leave even her closest people, saying everyone treats her wrong when she ALWAYS DOES WELL AND YES . PEOPLE MISUNDERSTOOD HER CUZ SHE WAS DIFFERENT,Her father tortured her secretly on her "father daughter trips" he left her mom when she was 4, and he passed away, Her mom couldn't handle her, so she sent Chandy away in 2011, and she came home in 2018, she was homeless, and in and out of institutions and placements, foster and group homes, mental hospitals, motel rooms, and got into crack cocaine, meth, hallucinogens, pills, andevery drug u can name, and alcohol,she goes to rehab but she comes home tolive with her now ex fiance Leon , and she goes crazy so Leon calls 911 and she gets sent to the mental hospital for the 209th time.She later states that Ralphie raped her in the hospital after faking a suicide to get in, and quote on quote ruined her life, Leon shows up and Carlos restrains her, cuz Leon broke up with her, and she goes crazy and tries to go after Leon and Carlos later telling her that they both work there. Chandy gets aShot to sedate her, she wakes up and states to the doctor on Unit D that she has broken out of places before cuz shes "Chandlier Stan Madina!!!" She gets mad that Leon won't tell her where her son Michael Chavez is, and states that she's been through every traumatic thing you can name. "Chandy your not alone I believe in u and I am here for u, we miss u Chandy".....🥀~AAA Film Created && Characters Portrayed/Voiced/Created by me , i33y Martine3zzz , (extra character added: Peter Armendariz, a guy that Ralphie knows to help fuck up Chandy’s life, later speaks on the news about Chandy getting divorced by her first ex wife Maria Madina)🍒🌰🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒👽👽 ___ 💚🔥🔞Insesting The Illusion (A Izzy Martinez Film Series)xD🔞🔥💚 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKVEBE3aFt8ZFkxXc2Av8GMu Stevie Xencell has a physcotic delusion named Johnny Lazerie who takes over her, she tries to live her life but soon he takes full control of her. Theres 4 movies, "Mind Broken", "Insertenative Moments, Its Not You Desirae", "Touched: Im Still Figuring Things Out", and "Please Adam Stop, It Takes Me All The Way." XD +ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, Before I went into treatment, I made this movie for fun... xD ~Ezxekyal “Izzy” Magdalinoz/Martinez+ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, I33Y.M.MARTIN3Z xD __ 🔞🔥🍒Death House Movie;) (A Izzy Martinez Original Series)🦋🥀🎶 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL64A9D54CA17AEBC3 Before I went into treatment, I made this movie for fun... xD ~Ezxekyal “Izzy” Magdalinoz/Martinez+ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, I33Y.M.MARTIN3Z xD ___ 💚❤Man At Work (An Izzy Martinez Short Film Series)❤💚 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUZmuX4Ha5alEwQdzGpINGN ❤💙An Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z Original Short Film Series . Starring Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez as ... Ricky Morris, Emily Rebecca Smith, Mooshi, And Richard Terry Moore. && Markous Swrtes as Charles Gregory Moore. All created by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z. MORE VIDEOS COMING S00N💙❤ ___ 💚💙🌏In The Name of Love Series (FULL SEASONS) xD🥀🦋💜 🖤🥀[Album#1.Trippz2iLL2Ace8It0ut by I33yMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z]🥀🖤 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWySqki89ZFyoXt8jR84DUD 🥀⚘i33y Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z Out Here with original songs/freestyles (edited and unedited) under the debut album title (not studio recorded) “Trippz2iLL2Ace8It0ut”, Br0k3n R0z3z izza alter ego I go by to make music. XxxxxX This Album is basically about my life story and me being traumatizd && going thru a lot 24/7 since 2001 (age 4) till the (end of July and the beginning of August of) 2018, this is my story.... 🥀Itz Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez,Asexual. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, on Step Two &over 1yearClean .I use to forget about my pain, I went to rehabs, I’m 21 years old, my dad died In 2011, but he abused me since I was 4, (beenThruTraumaSince4till2monthsAgo) but I couldn’t tell my mom or he would sell me or kill me, so I had mixed feelings he injection me with Meth and Heroin,, i was out on the streets, now I’m homeless13X's,getting arrested, in fights, almost been killed, I rose a 9 year old kid named Anthony Castillo-Martinez, heWasInAabusive foster home, so me and my motel roommate and ex girlfriend of One Year. Kimberly Marie-Olivarez took him in, I was mentallyunstable and unfit so CPS took him away, after a car accident and Igot framed for giving him drugs, and I never seen him since,Jeremy&IshmaelGotShotiSawIWaz prostituting/got sold 4 money4us, after that Kimberly tried to kill me in my sleep with Ambien.a meth needle and vodka.i woke up in an ER, and she killed herself, I was raped by my drug dealers which also drugged me up.people on the streets, and by someone I don’t wanna talk about, I was in Foster Care a couple times, abusive/Drugaddicts.Angela and Jimmy, a foster called GHS with staff instead of parents, and with Lisa, I’ve been in 215 mental hospitals, lock down treatment centers,1in Utah called Copper Hills Youth Center, multipletreatment and crisis centers, group homes, rehabs, shelters, the streets, been in car accidents,I’ve been arrested and detained by a lot of cops in Corona, I have anger issues, been kicked out of multiple schools since 7th grade,IAttempted suicide over 100 timesXI’ve self harmed on multiple occasions,IHave bipolar.depression.paranioa.anxiety.Buliemia.insomnia.(DIF).skitzoaffective,odd. Adhd ptsd,ocd,attachment disorder.Autism.borderlinepersonality.amnesia.criticallyxclinically insanex i helped the homeless and people In hospitals, been onall mentalHealthmedication, pplTriedToSendMe2MetropolitanStateHospital(highestLevelOfCare), I’ve never had a stable home since 2011,now on Augestof 2018I’m finally home,ihelp others cus im used to people not caring about me, IHaveTrustissues,imalways there2help2 are2make sure thereok and I don’t stop.StayStronq🥀 #JupiterIzMyH0m3🥀⚘ {Track List: WILL BE UPDATED SOON!!!} 1-“We Are Gonna Survive” (Like It Or Not) 2-“In The Dark, Am I Dreaming” (No Functionality) 3-"Down Time" (Magic Episodes) 4-"Physciatry" (Dedicated 2 Dr. DeLeon) 5-"Smilez Upsidedown" 6-"Take Me Forra Ride" (Escape Far Away) 7-"Cold Little World" (Dedicated To Irwing) 8-"I Will Find" (Mrs.Mania) 9-Eskkapeex (Leave.Me.Alone) 10- DopeyStarryEyezx 11-H.E.A.V.E.N (Nothin Is Free) 12-Calm Me Dead (Rest In Peices) 13-N0 F3ARZ (Just Silencee) 14-N0Wh3r3 (Our Story) 15-The H3ll That I Live In (R0aming Round Unstabl3) 16-BrainDefyed (Electric Compulsive Shock Therapy) 17-Brianinfusion (Mind Institutions) 18-Dezast3r (Another 52/50 Hold) 19-Its Far From 0v3r (Dedicated to Ariel, From Aroura Charter Oaks B_South) 20-Unit 1 (Ms. High Acuity) 21-How Many Squares Do U See 22-A Lutatious Dream 23-Do I Remember Me? 24-Mrs Ativan & Mr Ambien 25-0p3n Car R0ad x (Insanitys Candy) [All 4 Parts] 26-Me && My Anxiety 27-Depression Killz 28-Mentally ill 29-Locked Away 30-Bipolarized 31-Addiction 32-One More Drink 33-My PTSD 34-Im Not Sane (Ariela's Mind) 35-Dancing Fire (Come Possess Me) 36-Dissociative Identity 37-My Mind Izza Prision 38-Look At Me Now 44-Helplessly Undone (FuckLove) 45-Arielax2Sleepiex (Not Myself, Acting Strange 2HideThePain)46-GOD 47-Blarred2H!gh (52/50) 48-"Inn3rMajik" (Play Your Ace, Sweetie) 49- "DeZanity" (WhattahTrip) 50-"I'm Really Dead" (Toxic Lil' Demon) 51-"Mr.Darkness" (Worlds Colide) 52-Broken Home (on.my.own) 53-Izzys S0ng (ImNotOk) 54-Projjejktt Fixx Da Br0k3n 55-Mr. Alvaros Buissness. 56-Sleep Deprivation 57-Sweet Insanity [All 4 Parts] [Part 1: I See You In My Dreams, Roo x Part 2: From Rock Bottom x Part 3: Sweet Inzanityyx x Part 4: iSleepiex Waz Here]💚💚[58. Dead Dreamz (All 20 Parts)] ___ 🍒[Album#2.RedSunNumberNone. by I33yMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z]🍒 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUM_4jBLAnVvys4a0GDDD1E 🍒IzzyMagdalinozMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z out here with my second album (songs unedited & edited) titled "Red Sun Number None" COMING SOON after my 1st album is done. Izzy states that this album is based on her struggle but also about varies of things. I have a story to share && So Do u, so make yours a great one:)🍒 [Track List:] ...... vv ...... 1-InnerOuter 2-Leadz Me 3-Hold Me Against The Tree 4-Mad World by Gary Jules (Cover) 5-Touch Me Slowly (Love Hurts) 6-Stay Up Fam (Dedicated 2 Sean Palmer) 7-Queen Of It (Dedicated 2 V Manriquez) 8-Turn The Lights Out (Dedicated 2 Dapper Dave) 9- Coming 2 You Now (Again) (Dedicated 2 Jose Flores) 10-C.H.A.R.L.I.E (Dedicated To Charlie, WeMissU) 11-U R The King (Dedicated 2 Albert Rodriquez) 12- Mr Mikey (Dedicated 2 OG Mikey) 13-A Lil Taste 0f It (Dedicated 2 Omar Omar) 14-Sean's S0ng (Dedicated 2 Sean Palmer) 15-Twisted Hallwayz (Believe Me) 16- Stoplight (No One Really Knows) 17-H0ld 0n Pr3tty 0ne x SaveIt 18-If You Need Me I'm Gone 19-Im Coming Towards You (UnBleedMe) 20-If The Night Comes (On The Outz) 21-A Far Mile (Dedicated 2 Noah Ambrula AKA The Manic Mile) 22-Mr. Ezxekyal 23-"Al0nee" (Rain Over Me, Baby) 24-"Mrs. Suicide And Mr. Darkness" 25-"Soul Theives" (Take It 0r Leave It) 26-"Broken Memories" (AWAY&AWAY) 27-"Dear Mom" (I'm Sorry) 28.-"Empty && Undone" 29-"Too Rough Hun" 30-"Sara && Izzy" (Who Am I?) 31-Brotatochipz (Dedicated to Oscar from The Willows)(.😩. Yes I'm trashed thx 4 aakin my Brotatochips.🔥) ..... ___ 💔[Album#3.Hello, Mr Sky, Do I Know You?. by I33yMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z]💔 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWX4d2NNHtdIu6cSwsBHca0 💔Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z Out Here With My 3rd Album Titled “Hello, Mr Sky, Do I Know You?” This is my third album of music I make , but it’s Comming S00n. The songs on this playlist are non explainable at this time, and the track list is NOT completed, like I said b4 don’t rush into anything. And music/writing/acting/making videos/helping people && making beats are my passion (a few of them apparently) so ya I’m working on my first two albums first “Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut” && “Red Sun Number None” ... those are a few of my priorities right now. Thank u.~IzzyMagdalinozMartinezakaBr0k3nR0z3z💔. [Track List:] 1-Strange Skys 2-Too Tied 3-Greyz. 4-Too Loud. 5-Hello, Mr Sky (Mr. Alvaro) 6-Do You Know Me? (Blaqq3d0ut) 7-Cant Control Myself (NoMore) 8-Suddenly (Emotional Lil0ne) 29- Sl33pl3zz 30- 3at Mii Butt3r (Its Warm Inzide, Echoing Bathr00mz) 31-You are apotheosislotus (Dedicated To Jovani) 32-L0ving S0m30n3 (Wh0 D03znt L0v3 Y0u) 33-See You In Heaven (Number 11) 34-Anger Issues (The Black Sheep) 35. I̶ A̶m̶ S̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ E̶l̶s̶e̶ (Track List && Playlist Will Be Updated S00N, Plus More Music After iii Finish With My Other 2 Playlists First) __ 🔥💛[Album#4.Breathe, Please by I33yMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z]💛🔥 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKX1nAlzhT1QqeeAsPaqnYIy 🔥🔥Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z out here with my 4th album.. "Breathe, Please"🔥🔥 🔥🔥Track List: A. Intro 1 (Excuse Me x Dear, Kimberly) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* B. Intro 2 (FuCk YoU aNd YoUr SaNiTy x Fuck Nun) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* C. Intro 3 (Burning_Eyezx) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* D. Intro 4 (I'm Not Myself, I'm Not Ight) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* E. Intro 5 (don't worry about me) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* F. Intro 6 (AntiHuman x Nothings The Same Anymore) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* G. Intro 7 (D0 N0t Disturb) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* H. Intro 8 (Under Privacy) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* I. Intro 9 (Lose Control, Stolen Identity) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* J. Intro 10 (Shmearz.123456789) *Instrumental/Non Instrumental* 1-Neon Arrows (Addiction && No Permission) 2-Too Much Hell 3-Cure Me Please (0v3rc00k3d) 4-Unfixable 5-Dreamily Dead 6-Im Gone (0ut 0f Charact3r) 7-Z.R.S.T 8-Alone (So Numb) 9-Too High For Them 10-Use Me, (Institutionalized) 11-I Don't Miss You 12-You Did This To Me 13-A Damaged Angel (Dedicated To Ariel M, From Auoura B-South) 14-F00l Me (0v3rtir3d) 15-You Mean Nothing At All 16-Damaged 17-Sobriety 18-We Are Alive (Dedicated 2 Tyler Joseph) 19-D0.N0t.Disturbb 20-Du Yu M!nd?? 21- Blue 2 Blue (Story Time *My Records x My Story* {Parts 1-10}) Somewhere In The Deep The Story Of xx {H + E = xx} (Parts #1-60) -Bleeding On The Sidelines -Ariel Skyezzz (Sanity Is Blind) -You Have Been Disconnected -Dead On Set -I Fucking Love You -Darkness Is My 0nly Friend -Roo Garcia Part 1 Out Of 4 -Roo Garcia Part 2 Out Of 4 -Roo Garcia Part 3 Out Of 4 -Roo Garcia Part 4 Out Of 4 -Recipe To My World -I Will Fight -Depression And Anxiety -My Addictions -Chemical Dependency -Physciatric Evaluations -High Maitnence Part 1 Out Of 3 -High Maitnence Part 2 Out Of 3 -High Maitnence Part 3 Out Of 3 -Acid Rainbow -Inzanitys Korner #1 -Inzanitys Korner #2 -Inzanitys Korner #3 -Inzanitys Korner #4 -Problems -Solutionz -Dance Till You Die -The NXSP Story 00 -The NXSP Story 01 -The NXSP Story 02 -The NXSP Story 03 -The NXSP Story 04 -The NXSP Story 05 -The NXSP Story 06 -Zero 2 A Hundred -Die With Me -System Malfunction -My Senses Are At A 0 (None None) -My Senses Are At A 0 (None None) -No Chill (Nu Nu Chill) -Too Relaxed -No Feelings -Spizey Is A Rebel -SpizeyWazHere #1 -SpizeyWazHere #2 -SpizeyWazHere #3 -SpizeyWazHere #4 -Mary’s Go Round -Ace 8 Ace 8 (Got Fluxxed) #1 -Ace 8 Ace 8 (Got Fluxxed) #2 -Ace 8 Ace 8 (Got Fluxxed) #3 -Bad Side -I Can I -My Soulless Reality -Somewhere In The Deep -H + E = xx -The Endz -All Lost In It -g00dn!qht [Track list to be continued]🔥🔥 ___ 🎲🎲[Album#5.Tributes To My Broskiiz by I33yMartinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z🎲🎲 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWMwrVrR21TNh2Hu-RmtAkr Track List. XxX. ©.Tributes (0riginals): -Outz Of Town (Dedicated To Jeremy&& Ishmael Carlos Baraz) -We All Been Thru Somethin' (Dedicated 2 Every1 Who's Helped Us) -M.A.N.I.A Blown -Izzys Trashed (Come Stop Me, I'm Not Ok) -Raskal Baby (Dedicated 2 My Therapy Dog) -It’s Gon Be Alright Darling (Dedicated 2 Tyler J. From Loma Linda BMC) -MAGDALINOZ Went Away...11- Hold On 4 The Best (Dedicated 2 Pete Wentz) - Support On High (Dedicated 2 All My Friends) -M0M (Dedicated 2 My Madre) - Ricky (Dedicated 2 Ricardo M. From Rancho West) - What R U Doing Women? (Dedicated 2 Ruben S. From Telecare Lagos) - S.T.A.Y (Dedicated To Every1 From The Stay Program) - Lil' Andrew (Dedicated 2 Andrew Martinez) - Danny Boi (Dedicated 2 Daniel Lewis) -American Barber Shop (Dedicated 2 Every1 @AmericanBarberShop) - Welcome To The BMC (Dedicated 2 Every1 @LomaLindaBMC) - 51/50d Back 2 ETS (Dedicated 2 Every1@RiversideETS) -I Don't Belong Here (Unidenitied) -Silly Wounds(Dedicated 2 Preston Sid) -Im Blessed (Dedicated 2My Friends) -A Lil' Fun House (Dedicated 2 My Family) - Bad Boy Not Alone (Dedicated 2 Hansel, A Staff From Pacific Grove) - Lil' Anthony AngelEyezx (Dedicated 2 Anthony Castillo-Martinez, My Son) -MooMoos Gone (Dedicated 2 Kimberly Marie Olivarez, My Ex) -Marshall X (Dedicated To Eminem, Rapper) ©.Tributes (Un0riginals): ©.Karakokes (0n App): ©.C0vers Acapella: ©.C0vers With Music: ___ 🎡🎢[Album #6.|"N0wh3re2B3S33n"|"StrugglingButSurviving"| by me, Izzy Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z]🎢🎢🎡🎡 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKWMwrVrR21TNh2Hu-RmtAkr 🎡🎡🎢🎢My 6th album, which will be coming soon, it’s gonna take awhile sweetheart🎢🎢🎡🎡 1. Stay Und0ne x Number 0ne, 2. H̶o̶l̶d̶ O̶n̶ F̶i̶r̶e̶, 3. B̶l̶o̶w̶n̶ 2 D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶, 4. N̶o̶w̶h̶3r̶3 T̶o̶ B̶3 S̶33n̶, 5. S̶t̶r̶u̶g̶g̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ B̶u̶t̶ S̶u̶r̶v̶i̶v̶i̶n̶g̶, 6. I̶ A̶m̶ G̶o̶d̶'s̶ D̶a̶u̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r̶, 7. F̶l̶a̶s̶h̶ 2 M̶y̶ P̶a̶s̶t̶, 8. L̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ 2 S̶m̶a̶l̶l̶, 9. I̶n̶z̶a̶n̶i̶t̶y̶2D̶e̶z̶a̶n̶i̶t̶y̶, 10. [[[Dysfunctional Maze 2 Hazey xx {NonFunctionality} (All 22 Parts)]]] A. My Name Is Spizey aka Elizabeth Ramos B.My Name Is Roo aka Tyler X Alvaro C.My Name Is Dancing Fire aka Lily Garcia D. My Name Is JJ aka Johnny Garcia E. Welcome To NXSP (The Darker Side) F. Welcome To The Twisted Hallways (The Dark Side) G. Welcome To The Ends (The Darkest Side) H. Welcome To My Dysfunctional Mind (The Darkest Of Them All) I. Izzy, Sara, Tyler, And Ronnie J. Michael J Alvaro K. Any Last Words (The Death Sentence) L. Love The Loveless M. BLOW. N. Acid Starz (Elekktrikk Rainbows) O. Darker Than Hell P. God Is My Savior (On My Best Behavior) Q. Help Me Save Me Love Me R. Roo Meets Spizey S. SpizeyWasntHere T. Dysfunctional Maze 2 Hazey (Non Functionality) U. My Name Is Ezxekyal “Izzy” Magdalinoz-Martinez V. My Name Is Sara Nicole Pierce W̶. N̶i̶g̶h̶t̶D̶r̶i̶v̶e̶, X̶. W̶a̶k̶e̶ T̶h̶e̶ F̶u̶c̶k̶ U̶p̶ I̶z̶z̶y̶, Y̶. T̶r̶a̶s̶h̶, Z̶. T̶h̶e̶ E̶n̶d̶ O̶f̶ I̶t̶ A̶l̶l̶. ___ 🌈💓🔥Dead Dreamz (Parts 1-20) Song By Me, Izzy..🌈 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKXoB-6nwISr5nWSRo46JVHU 🌈🥀🔥Dead_Dreamz_Parts 1-20_ (Audio + Music) && (Just Vocals) This 4 part song is about me coming out if the darkness and wanna make everyone && everything happy safe and OK. Save the universe x I help obsessively. Thank u for being alive. This is off my 1st album "Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut" half written half freestyles. Remember yo life matters ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez I'm here 4 all xx This is. Dead Dreamz Part 1-4 xx by me, Izzy Martinez aka Br0k3n R0z3z🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 @ California 🌈🥀🔥hey it's izzy(: your life has value and u have purpose. Know your worth your gonna be OK love. Thank you for breathing x take shit one day at a time. Everyone tells me that I help obsessively. But I learned I gotta take my meds as prescribed x thank u I'm grestful for every single one of u. Don't settle for less, get what u deserve. I'm here for all of you x please note ; mental health ain't no joke. So stop faking mental illnesses. Don't judge x your enough x I have about 20 different mental illnesses, am I proud? No. Please take care of yourselves x ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez xx🌈🥀🔥🌈🥀🔥HUGE TRIGGER WARNING XX🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥I have evaluated my mind, and I've noticed some things are "off" and being "altered" PTSD can still make a person think there still getting abused x Part of my past I know is real But I got traumatized so much that I still believe I am getting abused I can't tell the difference between what's real what's not •drug / alcohol indecuced altered my brain •PTSD drove me insane that I still thought I was being traumatized •mental illnesses /Johnny confusing me I need help Daddy did torture and abuse me But he did not inject me with drugs I've definitely been tortured abused raped drugged up almost killed But that occurred so much that I thought it still was happening🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥Hey I'm izzy xx I'm here for everyone x "Keep doing what's best for you There's a universe inside of all of us Be careful, my loves, your a universe that hasn't been found x your important your life matters x x "-me Also, I've had 4 amazing days with no mental breakdowns, mental health symptoms, flashbacks. Or suicidal thoughts *claps hands* I'm here OK, don't give up I'm not OK right now, but I will find my way again xx🔥🥀🌈 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥this is my 2nd good day in a row. I'm here to help care and be there in anyway u can. You deserve happiness. I'm by your side, God is amazing. I'm also 1 year and 8 months sober, I haven't been to the mental hospital in almost a year. Your wanted, your journey doesn't end here. And battles don't fight themselves. I'm here for all of you message me anytime. ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me, lol) 🔥🥀🌈 💚🖤💜💙💓💛This song is a dark dreamy vibexx💓💙💜🖤💚💛 Note: the ending music is not mine: This part of the song is Not my beat, the singing And rapping is mine The early parts of this video I made those beats For this part of the video I give credit to.. Credit: Misery Credit: Mr Business Credit: Young Gotti Credit: Pore Music hey, contact me if u want : (I don't give out my main number as much_ so these are numbers off of phone apps _yes they can call/text out of region/country) 951-421-0078 Phone Number #2 951-534-5339 Phone Number #3 951-305-0331 Phone Number #4 Email #1: daveycoverdale@gmail.com Email #2: crowdgoeswild86@hotmail.com Email #3: Ms_SweetInsanityyx@outlook.com Email #4: Arielax2sleepie@gmail.com Snapchat: iSleepiex19 Facebook #1: Izzy Ace X Magdalinoz-Martinezz Facebook #2: Angelique x Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Facebook #3 (rarely in use): Izzy X Ariela Magdalinoz-Martinez Instagram: Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Tik Tok: Izzy M. Martinez Wattpad: Ms_SweetInsanityyx If there's anything I can do to help care support be there in anyway please lemme know. I'm here 4 u all x you have purpose x stay alive ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (aka Br0k3n R0z3z 🌈🥀🔥💓💙💜🖤💚💛 💓💙💜🖤💚💛❤Dead Dreamz Parts 1-20 Biography && Description ;;💛💓💙💜🖤💚❤ 💓💚💚🔥🔥🖤🖤Parts 1-5: Tell Dark, Sick You Are Parts 6-10: Dreamy Nights Parts 11-15: My Dysfunctional Mind (Night Life) Parts 16-20: Dead Dreamz; Purpose, Hope, && Time🖤🖤💜💜💙💙💓 ___ 🎶"0p3n Car R0ad/Open Car Road" #1-4 [Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut]🎶 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKX0SuUVQ6wuRdtfFpE4DFD_ 🥀🥀🎶🎶💚💜💚💜🖤💙🖤💙My 4 part song "0p3n Car R0ad x Insanity's Candy" Off my 1st album titled "Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut" Based out of 21% of my life story {been through mostly every traumatic thing, experienced mostly it all && done mostly it all. Have had brutal trauma/hell/torture/pain/bad experiences occuring non stop 24/7 since i was 4 (my birthday 5/20/1998) until July 26th of 2018. Nu nu chill. SpizeyWazHere} Part One: Izzy's W0rldx__Part Two: Mr. Alvaro's Buissness x__Part Three: Mz_Runaway Mouzex__Part Four: SpizeyWazHere HUGE TRIGGER WARNING!!!!! 🥀x 80% 0f The Life Ive Lived Was Trauma/Hell/Torture 24/7, U R Worth It Sweetie x Keep Fighting I’m Here 4U!🥀 This Is..... Br0k3n R0z3z/Angelique_Ezxekyal Izzy Magdallinoz-Martinez [0p3n Car R0ad/Open Car Road]💙🖤💙🖤💜💚💜💚🎶🎶🥀🥀 ___ 💜💚💜"INZANITY" #1-4 [Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut]🖤💙🖤 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKVPnKEdxraQW2UPUFsal2sS 🥀🥀My 4 part song "SWEET INZANITY" this is off my 1st album "Trippz2iLL2Ace8ItOut" A frrestyle on the spot. Part One: "I See U In My Dreams, Roo" Part Two: "From Rock Bottom" Part Three: "Sweet Inzanityyx" Four: "iSleepiex Waz Here" x Property 0f Me (Br0k3n R0z3z/Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez")🥀🥀 ____ 💚🔥🦋Tribute Videos For My Brotatochipz🦋🔥💚 Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKUNacMPOV1HN3WHwm4_yQf6 🌙🔥My Tributez For My Bruhskiis🖤🥀 List To Be Continued xxx To Be Made: *Zachary Vick (Musician @VO-I-CE) Tribute *Daniel Gilmore (Facebook) Tribute √ *Ace Crow (Facebook) Tribute √ *Rose Floyd (Facebook) Tribute *Chris Houchins (Target) Tribute *Tyler Durbin (Facebook) Tribute. *Chris James (Talk Life) Tribute *J.R (Tay; Stepping Stones) Tribute *Kayla (Tay; Stepping Stones) Tribute *Michael Brenkwitz (Indio CRT) Tribute *David Wall (Indio CRT) Tribute *Salem Lucian Salinas (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Stevie Flowers (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Robin Maras (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Joseph Ford (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Jaden Lucanik (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Louis Trujillo (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Kayla Elena (Stepping Stones) *My Mom (Ilysfm) Tribute *Kenny (Tay Journey Peer Support) Tribute *Matt Jones (Alt Facebook) *Christopher Aaron (Alt Facebook) *Kalob Holder (Alt Facebook) *Bobby Owen Wright (Alt Facebook) *Zak Riot (Alt Facebook) *Nash Turner (Tay Riverside) *Hugo Blanco (Alt Facebook) *Brandon Lee John's (Alt Facebook) *Kira Shaver (Alt Facebook) *Ronald Niemann (Alt Facebook) *Kenny (Tay Riverside Staff) *Ariel (Auoura Charter Oaks Mental Hospital Staff) *Juan (Indio CRT Staff) *My Mommabear *Oscar (Willows Mental Hospital Staff) *Jordan Lacoste (Nutrition Shop) *Marshall Mathers (Rapper) *Tyler Jefferson (Loma Linda BMC Mental Hospital Staff) *Dominic (Loma Linda BMC Mental Hospital Nurse) *Michael (Loma Linda BMC Mental Hospital Nurse) *Dylan Ramarez (Facebook/Snapchat) *Marshall (@GothsRock_Facebook) *Daniel Calamity (Facebook/Snapchat) *Bobby Blackwell (Facebook) *Rudy Armendariz (Stay Staff) *Juan (Stay RN) *Bobbie (Applebees) *Christian Paxton (Cousin) *Auntie Karen (Auntie) *Nick (Applebee's) *Shanaynay (Vape Shop) *Adrianna Smith (Stay Peer Mentor) *Francisco (Stepping Stones Staff) *Jacob Olivas (Tay Journey Staff) Tribute *Summer Dyan (Stay RN) Tribute *Daniel (Loma Linda Mental Hospital Staff) Tribute *Michael (Loma Linda Mental Hospital Staff) Tribute *Quinpcy (Jump Street Staff) Tribute *Nestor (Stay Program) Tribute *LJ (Auoura Charter Oaks Mental Hospital) Tribute *Kevin Mendoza (Auoura Las Encinas Mental Hospital) Tribute *Remy Augillon (UCI Mental Hospital) Tribute *Rhayna (Cedar House Rehab) Tribute *Kristina (Crisis Center Staff) Tribute *Karly Fogal (Pacific Grove Mental Hospital) Tribute *Jorge (Crisis Center) Tribute *Robin (ALT Facebook) Tribute *Isaiah (College Mental Hospital) Tribute *David Camarena (Stay Program Therapist) Tribute *Colicchie (Rapper) Tribute *Bella Richmann (21 Pilots Amino) Tribute *Alex Flores (Auoura Charter Oaks Mental Hospital) Tribute *Rhos Gamble (Facebook/Snapchat) Tribute *Marcelino (Stepping Stones) Tribute *Rascal (Therapy Dog) Tribute *Roxy (My Dog That Passed Away 4•11•2020) Tribute *James Swindells (Auoura Charter Oaks Mental Hospital) Tribute *Bailey (Stepping Stones) Tribute *Anthony (Stepping Stones Therapist) Tribute *Andrew Martinez (Arrowhead Mental Hospital) Tribute *Page Raflamboise (Facebook) Tribute *Damon Griffin (Facebook) Tribute *Caleb Vhal (Facebook) Tribute *Pain && Darkness (Who I Am) Tribute *Kiara Salinas (Salem's Sister) Tribute *Pete Davidson Tribute *Joji Tribute : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCTQ46n5jgKVJheQn26Iipvden10uywuk A show about a hyper bisexual teenager named April, (Played by Izzy Martinez) also about her life at home with her friend Tommi (Played By Markous Swrtes), who April this show only has three seasons. +ALL VIDEOS ON THIS PLAYLIST MADE BY ME, I33Y.M.MARTIN3Z xD

🔥🔥🌈TRIGGERWARNING I have over 10+ mental illnesses, that I deal with on a daily basis, I help everyone and everything obsessively, but idk who I am , I don't know , no pity , I also have borderline personality disorder as well, autism, anorexia, and everything else , I'm here for you all always , thank u for breathing for being alive for being u , u matter ur life matters, plz keep going, I'm by your side , if ur not ok plz let me know and even if you are plz let me know , no pity no sympathy no attention, here's my list of diagnosis from my psychiatrist.. I have had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018 Bipolar, Schizoaffective, Panic disorder (Anxiety) Major Depressive Disorder (Depression) , Adhd , OCD , Odd , PTSD, Insomnia , Autism , Borderline personality disorder , Dissociative identity fugue , Anorexia ,Narcolepsy, Multiple personality disorder De realization, Attachment disorder, Critically/clinically insane, Severe brain damage Look I don't want ur pity hun, I'm not trying to compare, if any of you need me plz message me, stay alive , ur doing the best u can and I'm proud of u , and I will keep reminding you all the good stuff about u and the good stuff you have done and are doing , I'm by your side on the battlefield, I would take all y'all pain away , if I could give my life to save all yours , I dissociate all day , my mental breakdowns have decreased and Alvaro is still possessing me , I love u all , CODE 890X0 in motion, I'm always here I'm Izzy I'm a girl always a girl , wtf is going on right now, stay you and if u needs me I'm here , MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT A TREND !!! 🌷🏳️‍🌈💙⭐️🥀🔥🌈💜🖤 {these are NOT 4 ATTENTION PITY SYMPATHY OR GLORIFICATION!!}. Its izzy. ;) Thx u for existing. Your doing the best u can. Stay strong. Im here for u and here to help and be there in anyway shape or form i possibly can. No matter the circumstances. Thank u for everything x IM OVER 1 YEAR SOBER FROM DRUGS AND ALCHOL xIt's been a wild ride my loves. Hey it's izzy. Imma be here for u no matter how much it takes. Cuz your a precious diamond. Just don't give up. Sorry I haven't been replying. It's just I've been going thru shit. Take care of yourself x we will fight we will stand, we will get thru this. Featuring my shitty social skills. Just don't give up alright 💛 🥀🖤A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still Suffers, In And Out Of These Rokms🖤🥀 Cuz basically all my over 10 + metal illnesses I have plus my past plus my current situation plus all my symptoms of all my diagnosis are multiplied by 10. I've been thru brutal trauma/pain/hell/torture/bad experiences since 2001-2018. Occurring 24/7 I've been tortured abused raped almost killed. In 215 mental hospitals. No home from 2011-2018. Homeless 13 times,almost killed, drugged up lost many to death, my dad tortured me, 3 foster homes, many unlocked/locked treatment centers, group homes, shelters, rehabs, residential, been thru MOSTLY every traumatic thing, I have severe brain damage, anorexia, mom is very sick. I help to much. I can't explain what I'm going thru or what's going on. I'm the most high maintaince case in the system. I've attempted suicide over 100 times. Been on all meds /beej thru all sorts of treatment. I have anger self harm. I'm a hardcore addict. No stable home. Ive been tortured/abused/raped/drugged/almost killed most of my life. I'm tell u a little of my life story You all are enough you all are worth it you al matter, your life is not worthless. Hun I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and back several times. I'm here for you if u need a friend I'll be there for u care for u help support show you your worth. I've been abused raped tortured homeless 13 times 215 mental hospitals bouncing from unlock and locked treatment centers. I've been in residential. My dad tortured me. I've had trauma 24/7 since 2001-july 2018 I got my son taken away. I've attempted suicide over 100 times im a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. No home from 2011-2018 I've been abused in all ways several times. . I've been in rehab. I'm not trying to get attention I'm trying to show that y'all aren't alone. Stay alive . You are important to me. I know I just met u. But I'm grateful for your life., LET GO & LET GOD! 🥀🖤Your feelings and life are valid If not today there's always tomorrow. Thank u for existing Stay U, And Believe In Yoself Don't Give Up Now, U Come This Far I'm Izzy, and Im a grateful recovering addict. Ur a fighter,don't give up Ur a survivor,nota victim U have a purpose,embrace it a story,share it a voice,useit A message,send it -Izzy M.🌙🔥 🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙 🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic   with over 1 year sober.  This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment.  I've used mostly every drug there is.  Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers.  Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth.  I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses.  Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from.  I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times.  Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile.  My sponsor is like family to me.  I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday.  Drugs messed with my life.  And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed.  But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time.  And I'm proud of all of you in recovery   drug addiction is a special kinda hell.  Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again.  Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day.  I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀 🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die.  Drugs kill you.  There's nothing about it to be proud of   its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU.  Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively   && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly.  We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again.  Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again.  I hope you have a good home now.  Going to school.  Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me.  I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀 🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California.  I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book.  I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn.  She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery.  Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤 🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective,  Bipolar ADHD, OCD, ODD, PTSD, Insomnia Depression, Anorexia Anxiety, Autism Borderline Personality Disorder Severe Brain Damage Attachment Disorder Dissociative Identity Fugue.. Multiple Personality Disorder Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙 🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention   these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways.  I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible.  They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution.  I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners.  They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother.  My mom.  Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house.  My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9. Keep Breathing; I'm Always Here xx🥀🖤 U don't deserve any of that! I love u and accept u for who u are and I'm always gonna be your friend.  Your sister. What's really bothering me is I wish I could save and fix u.  You are u and no one can change that.  What's also bothering me is my deceased ex fiance Kimberly Marie Olivarez (aka Moo.Moo) she tortured me daily and she called people in daily 24/7 to torture me in every way possible.  And it was every day all day all night.  I also had to prostitute myself for drugs and money (cuz I was homeless; I've been homeless 13 times) to take care of my un biological son, Anthony.  I got tortured raped drugged up abused for money to raise him.  I met him an extremely abusive foster home (I've been in 3; 2 of them were very abusive) Angela/Andrea and Jimmy Miller ran it and tortured us daily in anyway possible.  They tried to drug and kill us and we were prisoners.  I took Anthony "Lil Toni" Martinez out and I always took the abuse from them to avoid anyone else getting abused. I raised Anthony and Kimberly did nothing but  literally torture me,  she made false accusations that I gave Anthony drugs, he got removed and Kim hung herself in front of me.  My deceased dad tortured me from age 4 until he died in 2011 (I was about 12) and I've been in placements, treatment (unlocked/locked/short & long term) /group homes/rehabs/shelters/group homes/lockdown 14 residential /crisis centers, bouncing from all those from 2011-2018,  trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018.  I've been thru and experienced it all.  I've seen and lived in hell.  I know rock bottom, hell and trauma, pain and darkness from top to bottom.  I've attempted suicide over 100 times. Now I'm back with my mom.  Amd I still help obsessively. 🌈🥀🔥IIf something or someone is causing u pain,  let it go/them go ~Izzy M.  Martinez Show me the way, Lord thank u for all the lessons blessings and pain.  Amen Live like it's your last day on earth Thank u for being alive *Feel It For 4-5 Secs take long as you need to *U feel that? That's purpose This to shall pass Tell yourself these things Your enough Your worth it Your life matters The world needs me You matter Your feelings matter Your important. You have a story A voice A reason A story A purpose A message I am me written by Me (Izzy M. Martinez) Remember why your fighting so hard in the first place 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 @ California 🌈🥀🔥hey it's izzy(: your life has value and u have purpose.  Know your worth your gonna be OK love. Thank you for breathing x take shit one day at a time. Everyone tells me that I help obsessively.  But I learned I gotta take my meds as prescribed x thank u I'm grestful for every single one of u.  Don't settle for less,  get what u deserve.  I'm here for all of you x please note ; mental health ain't no joke. So stop faking mental illnesses.  Don't judge x your enough x I have about 20 different mental illnesses,  am I proud? No.  Please take care of yourselves x ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez xx🌈🥀🔥🌈🥀🌈🥀🔥 🥀🔥🌈Izzy here again, If U Have A Pulse U Have A Purpose x imma keep showing u your worth until u see it for yourself x one move can change your life x I’m here 4 all of u , be you , don’t be a copy X be the original , also I’m a safe space , if anyone needs support x but take your time x u don’t have to do anything your not comfortable with x love u all~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🔥🌈🥀 🌈🥀🔥Hey I'm izzy xx I'm here for everyone x "Keep doing what's best for you There's a universe inside of all of us Be careful,  my loves,  your a universe that hasn't been found x your important your life matters x x "-me Also,  I've had 4 amazing days with no mental breakdowns,  mental health symptoms,  flashbacks.  Or suicidal thoughts *claps hands* I'm here OK,  don't give up I'm not OK right now,  but I will find my way again xx🔥🥀🌈 🌈🥀🔥I wanna make the world and everyone in it happy && ok🌈🥀🔥 🌈🥀🔥this is my 2nd good day in a row.  I'm here to help care and be there in anyway u can. You deserve happiness. I'm by your side,  God is amazing.  I'm also 1 year and 8 months sober,  I haven't been to the mental hospital in almost a year.   Your wanted,  your journey doesn't end here.  And battles don't fight themselves.  I'm here for all of you message me anytime.  ~Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me, lol) 🔥🥀🌈 Songs Used (Slowed Down) (Intervention by Anna Akana Sweet Ophelia by Zella Day 1-800 by Logic True Lies New Division Don't Leave Me Here by Coldsteeze Paradise By Cold play Heavens Only Wishful by MorMor High Right Now by Tyla i Every morning or and night. Keep a journal of 5 or more things your greatfull for and 5 or more things u need to work on~Izzy Forgive but not forget Goal: new therapist Battles Don't Fight Themselves x 🔥🔥🥀🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!! THIS IS MY SOBRIETY STORY!!! No pity sympathy attention empathy worry concern (and yes I will be repeating myself so be prepared,  this is MY STORY  and u can't tell me how to write it,  u all deserve happiness,  and to be OK and I'm here for all of u,  no matter what,  and don't let anyone or anything define your worth or make u feel worthless,  do what's best for YOU,  DO NOT GIVE UP YOU'VE COME THIS FAR,  ur enough and ur worth it x and I'm glad your alive and breathing.  Stay alive., One Day @ A Time ;; Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It! I am over one year sober,  and I'm proud of myself x keep fighting)🥀🥀🔥🔥 🔥🔥🥀🥀Hi I'm izzy,  and I'm a drug addicted  alcoholic,  I never thought I would make it this far,  being clean and sober. I realize that the life I chose (while in my addiction) was suicide x I was popping pills,  shooting up,  snorting,  smoking, anything I could get my hands on.  I was tortured abused and raped my whole life (but in my addiction I got it worse where people injected me with shit and tortured me daily) , but when I was using,  I was numbing my pain,.  I was homeless on 13 different occasions and I became a monster,  it made my mental health worse and since I have over 10+ mental illnesses,  it made it worse. One time I overdosed on a mix of meth cocaine heroin acid and oxys and I almost died and I ended up in the hospital,  I got severe brain damage,  I was selling myself, getting drugged up abused tortured and raped for money to raise Anthony,  and I got my drugs from my drug dealers by torture and sex if I didn't have the money.  When I used I used obsessively.  And I'm so proud of how far I've come.   Drugs will put u in situations that u will regret later,  once you start you can't stop,  and it becomes your best friend,  you "NEED" IT TO SURVIVE X but it alters your reality,  and makes u a person that you could possibly could never get back from. (in a bad way) you can die even if u think your not taking it to far,  but u never know "how far" is "too far" and you'll end up in jails,  institutions,  and death🥀🥀🔥🔥.   ___ 🔥🔥🥀🥀Hey xx my name is Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez, and I am a drug addicted alcoholic with over 1 year clean! I’m 21. I know rock bottom, hell, trauma , pain, and darkness from top to bottom x I’ve been homeless 13 times, 215 mental hospitals , I’ve done mostly every drug, I have a sponsor now!! I’m on step 2 and going to NA meetings every Sunday! I literally read the whole NA basic text book xx I have the NA Big Book as well as everything. I have been thru brutal hell/trauma/torture occurring 24/7 since I was 4, till July 2018. Can we please , have a moment of silence For the addict who still suffers In and out of these rooms Y’all are enough man, my drug dealer moved back into town, and he’s tortured me, I have had over 10 different drug dealers, my drug of choice is meth and herion. I lost my unbiological son , who I met in one Out Of the three foster homes I was in, my deceased ex girlfriend tortured me and made false accusations against me that I gave Anthony drugs, and I had to sell myself  , prostitute, get tortured , drugged, abused, raped , almost killed etc etc so I can provide a home for Anthony , I was raising him as my own, I was homeless at the time, again. I failed rehab twice, at Cedar House . And I’ve been to 3 other rehabs. I’ve got a criminal record which has been cleaned after I became an adult . This Is For The Addict Or Alcholic That Might Die Tonight The One Who’s Killing Themselves Or Getting Tortured For Drugs 3 out of the many of my drug dealers. Have tortured me brutally I don’t use to “look cool” I use to numb my pain I first thought it would take my pain away I now have severe brain damage Plus over 10 mental illnesses It was MY CHOICE I remember lying on the side of the street , I lost my mom , I lost my self I lost my life, and I wanted to die I’ve been thru mostly every traumatic thing, experienced mostly it all, and done mostly it all No pity no sympathy no attention ... I have lived and seen death, hell, and I’ve been down this road I’ve been around the block Not saying any of you havnt Cuz I don’t know u #YouKnowMyNameNotMyStory #DontJudge I’m here for all of y’all Y’all are enough and y’all are worth it I’m greatful all of u are alive today And if any of y’all need me, cuz I’m here Feel free to contact me I believe in all of u xx Keep holding on I know it’s hard But I’ll be your hope God; Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The Things I Cannot Change The Courage To Change The Things I Can And The Wisdom To Know The Difference AMEN! Keep Coming Back It Works If U Work It One Day At A Time!🔥🔥🥀🥀 ____ 🥀🥀🔥🔥Damn this was last year , I was drugged up big time (now I'm over one year sober) This was my 13th time being homeless x I had a huge psychotic break (I've had plenty) so bad I had several near death experiences (over 300 of them without intent of suicide) and over 100 with intent of suicide x this episode led me to being rushed to the ER, the nurses , staff and my mom said I was "uncontrollable" they fed me charcoal, they reported that I was like a 3 year old ; I couldn't remember my name who or where I was, they had to bathe me , my toungne stuck out , my body was moving uncontrollably, they had a 1:1 watch me , plus 4 to 6 back up 1:1s cus I was that bad , they said I had a seizure, they later transferred me to Loma Linda BMC mental hospital (I've been in 215 of them) they were the ones who told me the report, they also said that when they asked my name I said "Liz Ramos" (which is one of my alters/demons) I was making animal sounds , I moved units a lot (I've been on every single unit in that hospital, not bragging btw) they didn't release me to my mom , cus she couldn't handle me , it was all a huge blur ,back to before I went to the ER, I got my shit stolen and in this video I can tell I'm clearly on something, right? Again I didn't know wtf was going on, I walked on the side of the freeway, this was around Anthony's birthday (my unbiological son who I was in the same abusive foster home with , ive been in 3 total , 2 were abusive, I sold myself , got tortured and raped and abused for money to raise him , but got taken away cus of Kimberly's false accusations, she tortured me worse than my dad , she hung herself in front of me) I bought him some flowers for his birthday and they got stolen , I only have the pink bear now , anyway now that ur caught up , back to the mental hospital x they released me to another treatment center x they said I was making no sense at all , and they said the people at The Crisis Stabilization Unit (CSU; which I cant go to anymore cus I've beel there to many times) that I was like an animal , and randomly acted out , they had to have a 1:1 they'd watch me) anyways I didn't remember any of that right? Well, surprisingly I actually filmed most of the CSU experiences, which is somewhere on my YouTube channel. Anyways , drugs will mess u up so bad and sometimes you don't come back from it x the grass is green where u water it x I'm always here for you all x you all are warriors x and I'm glad you all are alive , you shine how you wanna shine , your enough && you matter , your life matters! YOU MATTER! Plz don't do drugs , it's NOT easy to quit x stay true y'all, throwback and not a good one x stay true yo, Keep Being U, message me anytime:) stay blessed angel x God is Good&& it took me so long to realize that x Keep Fighting, Soldier🔥🌈🌎💙🏳️‍🌈💜❤️ x, Yours truly , Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🔥🔥🥀🥀 ____________ 🥀🥀🌈🌈My Diagnosis (Most Caused By Drugs) •bipolar •depression/insomnia •anxiety/PTSD •ADHD/OCD/ODD •Autism/Narcolepsy •anorexia/borderline personality •schizo-affective •dissociative identity fugue •multiple personality disorder •critically/clinically insane •severe brain damage 🌈🌈🥀🥀 🔥🔥_____Thank U For Coming To My TED TALK! Sobriety ain't a piece of cake,  but staying sober is one of the best decisions in my life   ___  I'm izzy and I am a drug addicted alcoholic /"Izzy" _________🔥🔥 ••What I Deal With xx•• 🥀🖤🔥🌈🙏💙🌷🌙💎Trigger Warning ___heyy I’m Izzy xx I don’t know where and Idk who I am I can’t recognize anyone or anything I’m extremity suicidal but I have no plan I feel like I’m dying physically I’m already dead mentally I feel like I’m being possessed I get possessed every day I now have over 40+ mental breakdowns a day every day I’ve been losing contact with myself and reality I feel like when I function (ex : talking, moving , etc) I die, black out , and have a mini seizure every mili second My body twitches, shakes, dissociates I don’t wanna burden anyone Cus it happens everyday All over of my 10+ mental illnesses come at once -Extreme psychotic episode -massive panic attack -physically feel like I’m malfunctioning -extreme dark depressive suicidal unsafe numb , lost , really really deeply bad state of mind -feeling like I’m in a dream (nightmare or not) -feel like I’m in a horror movie -can’t explain anything I’m feeling -nightmares every night -extreme dissociation where I’m not on this planet or in my body -my mania gets so high THAT I act out dangerously -acting like an animal/3 year old but NOT INTENTIONALLY -making no sense.  Abusing myself -vivid flashbacks so bad I’m literally re living it but it occurs everyday -can’t remember my name -my mind is inprisioning me -I can’t move / off balance -been on every single medication for mental health but nothing works Like I mentioned before I’ve been in 215 mental hospitals the next time I go I’m getting sent to a state institution I don’t want any pity sympathy or attention -the trauma that occurred 24/7 from 2001-2018 always appears in vivid flashbacks that I can’t escape from , Every night and day Here’s A list of my mental illnesses (DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE) -Bipolar Disorder -Schizoaffective Disorder -PTSD/ADHD/OCD/ODD -Anorexia Nervosa -Major Depressive Disorder -Panic Disorder (Anxiety) -Insomnia -Dissociate Identity Fugue (Different then Multiple Personality Disorder) -Autism -Narcolepsy -Severe Brain Damage -Critically/Clinically Insane -Borderline Personality Disorder -Multiple Personality Disorder Look I know I repeat myself, and right now I feel everything at once then to nothing at all I can’t feel my body I can’t feel anything or anyone else Last night I was crawling on the floor cus I couldn’t stand up and I passed out , I am losing balance extremely bad I repeat myself I’m sorry I feel like a superhero on PCP The objects are living to I am losing control of myself I am losing control of everything I often imagine me killing myself and or getting killed I feel insecure I’m sensitive I am over empathetic and caring I black out in the middle of my regular day I feel like I’m being controlled , like my body and thoughts are not my own and I am not me , I go on a rage spree , (extreme anger) My body has uncontrollable body movements , I twitch and shake Darkness is taking over me I still feel alone no matter what I do or who I’m accosiating with Can’t remember how to walk talk , function I am in so much mental and physical pain This occurs every day And everyone gets tired of me I’m over 1 year sober from drugs and alcohol I either have little or extreme energy/emotions I don’t know how to explain what is wrong , going on , or what I’m feeling I’m using all my coping skills I learned in my life I don’t wanna burden anybody , it’s my job to be there for them not the other way around I’m like a puppet on strings.   I’m doing my best , I don’t need any sympathy pity empathy attention concern or worry I’m honestly not sure how long I can exsist for. But I’m staying strong for others, not for me. I’m sorry🥀🖤🔥🌈🙏💙🌷🌙💎 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🔥🔥🔥🔥trigger warning! No pity sympathy or attention.  I can't take much more.  Everyday I now deal with : _blacking out/memory loss _All Of My Mental Illnesses (I have over 10+ of them,  now Intensified _now I have over 40 mental breakdowns a day _ALVARO POSSESSING me _My eating disorder/Autism _the trauma I experienced 24/7 from 2001-2018 coming in vivid flashbacks _insecurities _being sensitive _suicidal /unsafe thoughts _things I can't explain _dissociating 90%+ of the day _knowing I can't ask for help cuz I've been in 215 mental hospital (next time I go I'm going to an institution) + no treatment centers will take me back cuz I've been to many times _struggling to stay alive _wanting to please everyone _physically sick _not wanting to burden people _been dealing with this since age 4 _not doing anything right _my mom and brother not wanting me home _repeating myself cuz it never stops This is everyday and I'm getting worse I should be dead already   but I gotta keep fighting I CAN'T DO THIS,  FUCK MAN🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 TRIGGER WARNING!!! No pity sympathy or attention I’m not glorifying anything, this is all written by me , and my experiences, yes I’ve always been a girl lol I just dress how I want to !!! 🌙🔥🌟Hey its izzy, My goal is to save help fix care and support and be there for all living and non living things, the universe, the worlds. And the galaxys ans everything. I wanna make my own hotline. Since i already help everyone and everything obsessivly. Ill do anything i can to makw a difference. Stay alice uall im always here.🥀🖤🦋 It’s Izzy again , Hello, don’t be afraid , insanity’s coming to take u away , I’d stay up all night if it meant saving someone’s life , I’d be the super hero in every movie , with a hint of insanity , or maybe all hints lol. I’ve been to 215 mental hospitals, 3 foster homes (2 were abusive) group homes , homeless 13 times, many unlocked/locked , short and long term treatment centers, a level 14 residential treatment center in Utah (Copper Hills Youth Center) , no home from 2011-2018, crisis centers , boarding cares , rehabs and I’m part of the LBGTQ COMMUNITY!!! I’m Izzy (I’ve always been a girl) I’m a biromantic asexual, I hate sex. Don’t date at all,I’m 21 , I have an unbiological son , Anthony Castillo-Martinez, who got taken away from me cuz of false accusations, stay strong yo It’s Izzy here once again Hey if u wanna die tonight , let me convince you otherwise, ur worth it and people are to blind to see that You shine so bright that the sun covers its eyes , trust me I know what it’s like , over 10+ mental illnesses, and trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018, Bipolar isn’t just mood swings , it’s dangerous mania and physcotic breaks Schizoaffective isn’t just voices and visions , it’s possessing and physcotic episodes, ur so out of reality , ur demons come inside u , they become alive , getting paranoid man , there after me , I made a whole world in my head x not knowing reality Anorexia isn’t just an eating disorder, it’s calories and starving yourself and obsessively hating your body , no matter how skinny you get u still feel fat, feeding tubes and passing out and hospitals OCD isn’t just obsessing , it’s fearing something bad will happen if u don’t do what it tells u ODD isn’t just defiance , it’s massive explosions that come out of nowhere BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER isn’t just anger , it’s everything intensified and it’s out of reality spells ADHD isn’t just not concentrating, it’s not knowing who u are at times ,it’s jumping off walls and uncontrollable hyper ness and uncontrollable behavior PTSD isn’t just trauma ,it’s reminders of the trauma , it’s nightmares and flashbacks and it effects ur daily life, trust me I have had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018 , no pity sympathy or attention , from torture abuse rape , drugged up , anything man I’m non functional INSOMNIA I can’t sleep for days , no matter how many meds I take , I still lie awake , I hate sleep but it is also an escape from reality, I stay up for days , but I’m not intoxicated , I can’t sleep at all. DEPRESSION oh man , I wanna die every day , I’m drowning In an ocean and I can’t swim ,I feel worthless hopeless alone , like I have no reason , it comes at random times , I can’t escape this state of mind , I’m trapped in my mind . ANXIETY is something that u feel like ur crawling out of your skin , panic attacks so bad I got rushed to the hospital , I’m scared 24/7 , anxiety also catches u In ur sleep , u have restless dreams , you feel like u can’t breathe , like everything’s either slowing down or speeding up. ADDICTION AND ALCOHOLISM I’m over 1 year sober from drugs and alcohol , I was getting tortured for drugs , I used 24/7 to numb my pain , the drug was just as addicted to me than I was to it , it was my only friend ,  I’m on step 2 and I have an amazing sponsor DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY FUED , I can’t process reality , I dissociate to many alternate universes, I’m out of reality I’m in a dream I feel like I’m in a movie , physically I’m here but mentally I’m not , I’m so far gone .where am I , who am I , what why when am I ?? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER , am I you or am I , I . I have many alters that switch , the demons possess me , I don’t know who I am, over 50+ alters/demons I become them , we become clueless AUTISM I got diagnosed when I was a kid , I get marked “retarded” but I have high functioning autism (aspbergers) or however the fuck u spell it . I was always in special ed SUICIDE I’ve attempted suicide over 100+ times, and I wanted to never wake up or even be born or exsist , I feel like I’m poison to this earth , and nobody wants me , I wouldn’t care if I didn’t wake up , I’ve been there before, I tried every method of suicide there is , but I learned that suicide ends ur pain but passes it to someone else ,I wanna be painless .if any of are suicidal, plz message me , I’ll stay up all night so I can save your life SELF HARM until u see it bleed and take away all our pain , we continue to make scars and we can’t stop,I’ve been self harming ever since age 9, and I’ve self harmed in every method possible , and I’m not proud of it, I’m not glorifying at all, if any of u feel like hurting yourself plz talk to someone, talk to me .please I know it’s addicting..... I’m here for you all NARCOLEPSY I fall asleep out of nowhere , even In the day, it’s hard man ,I never got put on medication for it cuz my doctor said my medication CAUSED IT !! CRITICALLY/clinically INSANIE Multiple doctors diagnosed me “Critically/Clinically Insane” I’m the most high maintenance case in the system. Now that we’re done here, please don’t go , I’m here to lift u up,I’m here for all u like I said in the beginning of this post . Thank u all for breathing for being alive for being here , I’m tearing up as I write this , i wish I could fix and save all the living and non living c, read the first part of this post again . If u need me I’m here , I’ve always been a girl lol I just dress how I want to .


🔥⭐️🌈Hey It’s Izzy (obviously lol) Your All Enough && Yo All Worth It, Fuck What The World && Society Tells U && Excpects U To Be xx I help everyone and everything obsessively, but I wish I could change the world , fix everything and everyone. This society disgusts me , this is a lesson I learned in my early childhood, the world is full of hate , salt and sugar look the same, and some people are disgusting, not everyone u associate with is your friend . I wanna save fix help care love be there , be by your side till the end no matter what, I’m here for you, don’t let anyone change who u are, ur not alone . I’m here for all y’all always, fuck all those assholes who try to mess with u . Fuck It Man, I love all y’all, and a big fuck u to all the abusers out there, just cuz u have a bad day doesn’t mean you have to make other people’s day bad as well. You Are You && Theres Only One , Be Kind , U Never Know What Someone’s Going Thru , I’ve been tortured raped and abused most of my life , I have over 10+ mental illnesses, and I’m watching the world being destroyed, yes I’ve fucked up in the past, no one is perfect, yes I’ve been an asshole , but I’m fixing it now. For all y’all who are going through shit and even if you are not, you matter YOUR feelings are valid , thank u for breathing, you’ve come this far, don’t give up now, I’m proud of y’all, and I’m here for u , message me anytime:) stay strong!!-Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🌈⭐️🔥 🦋🦋TRIGGER WARNING!!!! hey it’s Izzy here, and yes I wrote all this, you are YOU && YOUR AN AMAZING YOU! sure u make mistakesX but that doesn’t define u as a person, if u have a mental illness(es) that doesn’t define u at all, it only makes u stronger , ur stronger than you realize , your battling your mind every day and night , your a warrior , if your thinking about hurting yourself or thinking of suicide, don’t do it , trust me I’ve been there , you may think hope is lost but I’ll be ur hope, as hard as it is to ask for help, it’s one step closer to u not being dead, I know for some of us being alive is painful, dealing with abuse torture rape etc any kind of trauma , and u feel alone, put ur hand over your heart, feel it for about 30 seconds, feel that? That’s purpose , to those of u who have been bullied, I wish I could fix it, but what they say about u is a reflection of themselves, I know it doesn’t make it any better, but they will get there karma, U ARE NONE OF THOSE THINGS AND THERE TRICKING U TO THINK THAT ITS TRUE ! not all people are good and not all people are bad, to those of you who feel like giving up, stay one more night , I know it’s not easy , but I’ll stay up all night with u until ur ok, suicide takes. Away ur pain but passes it on to someone else, u may not think there gonna be affected by it , some won’t but some will, on one of my suicide attempts I never thought my friend cared cus she showed she didn’t care, her dog was wining and howling when I was on the floor and I was fading In and out , my friend called 911. And after that incident the dog passed away , and my friend tried to take there life , I’m glad ur alive hun I’m glad ur breathing that ur here, the world wouldn’t be the same without u , I would miss u. To those of u with mental illnesses ANXIETY: I have this one, your mind is tricking u, u gotta our run ur anxiety , I’ve had anxiety attacks so bad I ended up in the emergency room, I want u to step back , I want u to turn on LoFi Radio (there’s an app) and meditate to it , I want u to breathe In for 4 seconds , hold for 4, and let out 4, but do it slow , and remember WHO THE FUCK U ARE! If any of you are on the urge of feeling out of ur body crawling out of your skin , can’t breathe , everything’s either speeding up or slowing down, you think everyone and everything is after u, it may not be easy . But I’m here for you. BIPOLAR: I have bipolar mixed episodes , and I’m manic and I become dangerous , I feel like I’m on top of the world , what I need u todo is sit somewhere that u can use all ur senses , and use each time one to snap back into reality, sometimes are senses are intensifying and we can’t control it , but u need to see a doctor for medication, and DO NOT STOP UR MEDICATION COLD TURKEY (all at once) it takes a couple weeks for medication to kick in and adjust to your body . Go into the mirror and scream (if u can) that ur a survivor u are strong u are worth it and keep doing it until u believe it, It will take time. PTSD: I have this one as well , first off u are Not ur trauma cx and remember that u will see triggers constantly, think about this, ur not there anymore , u are not who u were back then, I have flashbacks constantly that it happens every day , write a letter to yourself and or ur trauma as a whole , I’m here for you , I know trauma from top to bottom , if ANY of u wanna talk to me about it , u don’t have to , I’m always here. Ur not alone , I go to outpatient therapy, not a lot recently tho , but If u keep bottling shit up it’s gonna explode one way or another ,I’m not a therapist or a professional. DEPRESSION: I have this one to, you feel hopeless, I’ll be ur hope, u feel worthless, u feel like ur drowning in an ocean and u can’t swim, u feel like darkness is controlling you, ur depression is lying to u, u are worth it your important you are enough! U matter ! U are not worthless or whatever ur depression is telling u , it’s not “trendy” to have a mental disorder y’all, ur depression keeps u In bed , u lose motivation so much where u can’t even eat , or lack or to much sleep, I want u to fight it , push thru , I kno , easier said than done, but u gotta force yourself to do it , if u literally can’t move ur body, trust me I’ve been there, I want u to think of something that u would get out of bed for (emergencies, saving someone) something that motivates u more than anything in the world, and count backwards from 10 and I know it’s not easy , but moving around decreases ur depression than staying in one spot , overthinking is something I need to work on. ADHD/OCD/ODD: I have all of those snap your fingers when ur trying to concentrate on something and only focus on the snapping of the finger , OCD fight off the urge to follow thru ur routine and think if I don’t tap my fingers a certain amount of times , is the outcome of not following thru logical? As much As u believe something bad is gonna happen , it’s just ur mind playing annoying paranoid tricks on u. Once again it’s easier said than done. AUTISM: u are NOT STUPID RETARDED SLOW ETC! U are actually the sweetest caring people out there , take ur time c ur doing the best you can, so what if u learn slower than others , ur smart and amazing in ur own way , if u know someone who is Autistic , don’t judge them they are people to, be patient with them! I have high functioning autism. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: to be honest I didn’t know what this was until a doctor at in one of the mental hospitals I was in diagnosed me with it , then it all made sense, my advice is to remember to NOT let ur emotions and explosions control u , we are Not attention seekers , when u have extreme emotions or emotion and/or intensified emotions is to remember we’re not ourselves when it’s happening, and when u come back from it u regret it , right? And the next time u have one of ur breakdowns is to have someone observe where it starts and when it stops so u know ur triggers . A lot of people think it’s “cool and trendy” to have BPD, newsflash Karen, u don’t know and it makes it harder to have it cuz people like u think it’s cool, step a day in our shoes, if u don’t have it don’t pretend to , and this also goes for other mental illnesses, no one is gonna be impressed by u having a “mental illness” cus u think it will get u places. Don’t let anyone bring u down or change you! INSOMNIA: I have insomnia, what I do is download sleep and meditation apps on my phone , if u want message me if u want some suggestions for apps I use . DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY FUED: I have this one to, I dissociate most of the day, I can’t process where I am and o go to many different alternative universes, I feel like I’m in a dream or a movie , what I do is ground myself and even if I can’t process it I use all my senses together and try to break back into reality. I meditate all day and I snap my fingers and try to process where and who I am , I know easier said than done . ANOREXIA AND BULIEMIA: I have Anorexia, u are not fat ugly etc , ur slowly killing yourself , I can’t give u advice on this one cus I wouldn’t follow it, I would be a hypocrite. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: I have this one as well, what I do is try to remember who the hell u were when it started , its hard I know , but I’m here for you NARCOLEPSY: I have this, I don’t know any advice cuz I don’t know myself but I would consult a perfessional SCHIZOAFFECTIVE/SCHIZOPHRENIA: I have schizoaffective, study ur voices visions demons alters etc. and drown them out with loud music or just listen to LoFi and meditate I try and snap my fingers by my ear , and then ask myself , is this real? Even if you can’t tell the difference, try to ask someone’s round u, did u hear/see that ? PARANIOA: I have this , same advice I gave on my schizoaffective disorder , ask someone who you can trust if it’s real or not but make sure there around u, scream at the demons . Anyways , thank u for being alive for being here for breathing!me having over 10 mental illnesses makes it hard To help myself but easy to help others I’m here always, Stay Alive_Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (Me)🦋🦋 Trigger Warning! 🥀⭐ My anorexia. Is getting worse. I have breakdowns so bad that I turn into a 3 year old or an animal. I'm not gonna hurt myself. I just have thoughts. I'm not used to people caring. And I'm great full for you and ur life. Like idk how to explain. What's wrong or going on but the breakdowns happen daily. I have flashbacks vividly of my past everyday. From being tortured abused raped drugged up. Homeless. Witnessessing murder. Like I said the trauma lasted 24/7 from 2001-2018. I don't need. Pity sympathy I just feel like I'm going insane more everyday. People get tired of hearing it. I repeat mys3kf a lot and I'm sorry. My demons literally possess me && all my mental illnesses intensify. Everyday I try to be the best me. And I help obsessively. I still feel alone. I'm autistic which makes it harder. Even the highest level of care couldn't handle me. And everyday I get hell from my mind. I try to help others. I can't hurt myself cuz remember I've been in 215 mental hospitals x the next time I go I'm getting sent to a state institution. Even with people that care I still feel alone. I told u about Anthony. My unbio son who I raised while I was hom3less. Ive been homeless 13 times. I got tortured daily by my ex deceased fiance, Kimberly. Who made false accusations that I gave him drugs. He got taken away. I met him in one of the abusive foster homes (I've been in 3) I sold myself got tortured and abused and raped on the daily 4 money so I can raise Anthony. Kim hung herself in front of Me. I haven't had a home from 2011-2018. I am extremely insecure. My mind controls me. I'm over 1 year sober. I cry every night cuz the hell never ends. I've attempted suicide over 100 times. I've been almost one year out of the psych ward. I don't feel like I'm in my body and I dissociate most if not all of the day. Alvaro is one of my main demons/alters. My therapist doesn't wanna help me. No one can and everyday the breakdowns and vivid flashbacks happen. Idk how to explain. What's going on. I turn into someone else. I'm tired of being sick & tired and I feel so alone. I don't want pity sympathy or attention. I just don't wanna burden people so I keep to myself but I still help obsessively. Idk what to do. I've tried everything. I feel lost. And everyone gets tired of me. I don't feel right. I do have severe brain. Damage. My mom and brother don't want me home. And I've been diagnosed critically/clinically insane by the state. My dogs are dying. And I live with my mom cuz of certain circumstances. I just feel helpless cuz whatever I do I get hell. Whenever I'm trying to leave the past behind it comes back vividly everyday. I can't even leave the house. I can't function. I've been in multiple unlocked locked treatment centers, group homes, homeless 13 times, foster homes, mental hospitals. Boarding cares rehabs short and long term treatment. Crisis centers shelters the streets. None of those places want me back cuz I've been there to many times. Whenever I go to the outpatient they always try to put me in patient. Which no impatient will take me back. I feel like a failure. I've tried all meds and none work. Different combinations dosages etc. They named me most high maintenance in the system. My mom is getting older. She's the only reason I'm alive. I try to explain how I feel or what is going on with me to people but no words can explain it. My body has twitches a lot and like I said in my 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. Some are less severe and some are more. To the point of I become literally an animal and a 3 year old. I have constant nightmares of PTSD and even during the day. But I try my best to save and fix everyone else.🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙 🖤🔥🥀🌙TRIGGER WARNING; HOPE WRITTEN BY ME, IZZY MAGDALINOZ-MARTINEZ🌙🥀🔥🖤 Ps: I don't need sympathy pity or attention I'm not proud of any of this. I'm not glorifying any of this. X thank u for breathing for being alive. "Lost in my mind Demons by my side Hold on tight Sweetheart.we're in for a wild ride Lost my will to live All I wanna do is give Let the darkness take control Were breathing in We're letting out The monster is inside me The monster is me. The pain has set me free Became to comfy in the pain Became so used to the trauma Became someone I didn't know I'm here to put on a show I'm here to let people know That there not alone, not alone Your life matters, you matter Your feelings are valid Your face is shattered No name no face I'm a big disgrace" Bipolar/Schizo-affective: I have it. Mood distortion and alternate realities, mania oh so dangerous I get psychotic. I have over 55+ akters/demons. Some possess me. I don't know who I am. Not even who I was. Bipolar isn't just mood swings. It's delusional thinking and distorted reality. You feel like a superhero. Then one moment you lose complete control. High without the high. You are detached from reality. It's not just voices or visions. It's full blown paranoia and psychotic breaks. Which is more rare and more worse then a normal mental breakdown. You arc not your diagnosis. You shouldn't let that define your worth. On to the next. Anorexia: did u eat, Izzy? "yes" but in reality it's been 20 days of self starvation. "I'm fat" no your not your skin and bone. "I'm not hungry" I hate food with a passion. I ended up in the hospital on many occasions. This is my 4th time with anorexia. They had to feed me thru a feeding tube. Counting the calories of every thing I eat or drink. I'm still fat.insecure and that I was ugly. And I remember when people used to shove food in all my body parts. And injected me with it. Called me a fat slob. But I'm never gonna be good enough. You are perfect just the way u are. Inside and out. Don't let someone or something define your worth. ADHD/OCD/ODD: I'm all over the place I can't concentrate I'm losing my way. If I don't follow a certain routine. I have a sense that something bad is gonna happen. It's not just about being clean. ODD. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I get angry really fast. I can't think straight. I'm obsessed with my routines I have to follow. A very tough act to follow. Depression/Insomnia: darkness hopeless I'm drowning in an ocean I can't swim. No motivation. Wanna die everyday. Feel lik3 a waste of space. I'm being drowned in pain. Sadness won't go away. It's not just sadness. It's full blown darkness. Insomnia can't sleep for days straight no matter how much medication I take. I can't sleep. Over thinking? Maybe. PTSD? Maybe. Nightmares? Maybe. Wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Am I already dreaming? Anxiety/Borderline Personality: panic attacks so bad I end up in the hospital. Everything's either speeding up or slowing down. Feel like everyone hates me. Everyone is after me. I can't stop shaking. I can't breathe. It's not just nervousness it's full blown passing out and getting shots to calm you down in the hospital. Ur mind is scattered and it's like a runaway train. Stay sane. Maybe? Borderline intensifying every little thing. Dissociation && u feel the emotions are times 100. Every thing is bigger than u know. U lose your identity. Who am i? Who are u? Outbursts and losing contact with what's real. Your gonna be OK. Love. Dissociative Identity Fued/Derealization/Multiple Personality: I dissociate to many alternate universes. I can't process reality. I feel like I'm in a dream. Like I'm in a movie. Out of body experiences. Km the Queen of Jupiter. Idk where I am. Or what's going on. Derealization. I have multiple personalities. Over 55+ alters and demons. My demons possess me. U never know who's gonna take over me. Stay up FAM. It's gonna be alright. Just breathe. Xx PTSD/Narcolepsy: PTSD triggers all around Me, flashbacks daily. Trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018, I can't let go of the past if I get vivid flashbacks everyday. Of the torture the abuse the rape the kidnappings the streets the deaths the near death experiences the being drugged up the night I lost my unbio son. The 2 abusive foster homes. Witnessing my fiance hanging herself. The shootings. The daily torture. And many more. No pity tho. I'll be fine. I really wanna die. But I'll be alright. Narcolepsy like I'm daydreaming but I fall asleep in the middle of the day not tired I can't help it. My mom wakes me up when I fell asleep standing up. On the counter. On the floor. Out of nowhere. Man. Autism/Critically-Clinically Insane: I always has a learning disability always in special Ed. Learning slow and can't socialize properly. I'm really actually retarded. A mentality of a 3 to 12 year old. This does not define me. Nor you, at all. I got diagnosed by the state "critically/clinically insane" I've been to 215 mental hospitals. Multiple unlocked and locked short and long term treatment centers. No home from 2011-2018. I've been known as the most high maintenance case in the system in California it sucks. And I don't function like a human I function. More like an animal. When I was 12 I had the mentality of a serial killer. I'm literally insane. I still am. Group homesz, homeless 13 times, rehabs. Crisis centers. Shelters. Boarding cares. And much more Suicidal/Self Harm: I've attempted suicide over 100 times. All failed. Has to drink charcoal. And get my stomach pumped jumping in the freeway. Hanging myself.. Overdosing. Any method possible. I'm not bragging im not proud. No pity no sympathy no attention. Ur life matters YOU MATTER! Thank u for breathing. Self harm in anyway possible. Cutting slicing burning banging my body against walls. It's so addicting. I can't stop. Drug && Alcohol Addiction: hi I'm Izzy and I'm a drug addicted alcoholic with over 1 year sober. I used every drug on that shelf. I became homeless due to it. My drug dealers tortured me in every way possible for my drugs. My alcohol.I would do anything to get high drunk to numb the pain. I became a monster. Drugs fucked up my life. One day at a time. "if lose to get abused If I kill myself more everyday If I don't know what say Or how to fucking explain What's wrong or going on 22+ mental breakdowns a day. Cut it off my brain The wires say I'm insane Twisted damages and broken Leave me alone Leave me alone I fear myself I fear myself" 🖤🥀You matter your important u are worth it you are enough you are a someone. You have a story a message a purpose a reason a voice. Thank u for breathing. 4 being alive. Don't give up. You've come this far, right. I love u guys I'm here for all of u. I help everyone and everything obsessively. I have no purpose. But I'm the least important person in existence. I love u guys. Keep fighting. Soldier xx_xx _Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez🥀🖤 🔥🌙🖤🥀🌎Stay Alive🌎🥀🖤🌙🔥 && Lastly ⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!! Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐ 🥀⭐Your Enough Your Worth It. Your Life Has Purpose This To Shall Pass Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can. I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀